Tag Archives: twin flame connection

When the universe talks to you.

“The Universe is always speaking to us… sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, look around, and believe in something else, something more.” _ Nancy Thayer

This life… What a mystery!

There are certain things that you can never forget… and the story I’m about to tell you is simply one of the greatest series of small weird events that I will forever treasure in my heart.

It’s really crazy if you stop to think that our very memories are what give us the definition of time itself. By bringing them up in our minds, we can relive them and bring them to our present moment.

We were in love in paradise, haha. The Philippines! To be more precise, we were in Donsol Bay.. a very remote part of Manila where technology hasn’t quite picked up the pace yet.. We went there in the hope of adventure and some whale sharks!

On one hand it is great not to have internet, no working Wi-Fi.. It’s almost as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist, but that I won’t simply account to lack of internet. When me and my loved one are together it’s almost like we are swallowed by this big bubble and the rest of the world disappears and our movie starts playing…

And oh boy! What a movie that is.

I can honestly tell you, life can be anything but boring when we are together… Even when I’m bored he starts immediately teasing me with the repetitive and constant saying: Baby are you bored, are you bored, are you bored are you bored… almost like a song he made up. And immediately the boredom disappears.

Oh Nicky, God was in a veeery great mood when he created you!

On this particular day, we had an important task… We needed to pay our hotel bill, and you would guess the good folks of Donsol would take cards… but no…  They were only accepting cash…

We were trying to figure out where to go so we could get cash from a cash point, but things were not so straight forward in Donsol Bay…

So we decided to figure it out, where and how to sort this payment situation, while all we wanted to do was enjoy our holiday and not have to worry about chasing this money.

Our first attempt was to find good working Wi-Fi… because we wanted to book our flights to Nepal which were going up every day, but for some reason the Wi-Fi in our hotel wasn’t good enough. We were recommended to try an air b and b in town that apparently had a good Wi-Fi connection.

We got in the car… Nicky siting behind the wheel. He gave me that look, with his big blue eyes, raising his eyebrows and putting up a smile without showing his teeth, as if he is about to deliver some secret message and boom, he pushes in this CD which has the craziest instrumental song, as if we are boarding a space ship and then he says: Welcome To Planet Earth!

I laughed, it was like… okay, let’s see what kind of adventures this day will bring us. The music kept on playing while I looked out the windows admiring the leaves on the trees… The different shades of green and the beautiful sunshine passing through them…

Earlier that morning, the first thing we did was to jump out of our bedroom’s balcony and jump in the water for a swim. Kissing, hugging, making love. Surrounded by coconut trees… What a way to live life, just writing about this now I get goose bumps and tears in my eyes, and this wave of love and excitement runs throughout my body.

But back to the car… Chasing this little place, looking for the air b and b and the good Wi-Fi… This experience wasn’t quite as glamorous. We found the place, knocked on the door, and this lovely lady came out to let us in with a smile on her face.

We walked in her house asking about the Wi-Fi and said it was well recommended, and if she could help us… but it didn’t look like the universe was on our side… or so we thought.

After half an hour trying and failing, we asked what options would be available for us to get cash and we started to get a little agitated. It’s funny how some things we are used to in Europe can get under our skin when in a faraway country. No working Wi-Fi… That was a no go for Nepal, or further bookings which we needed for the next step of our trip, so we then decided to focus on the next big task, which was paying our hotel bill with no working cash place in Donsol, no banks open as it was the weekend… The next step was to drive to the nearby small town.

We were both a little irritated, this time Nicky was a little more sensitive to the situation. I was trying to keep cool and calm, but of course the stress created a little arguing. We were both determined to solve the payment issue and we both wanted to solve it in our own ways. We wanted to get cash out to pay the hotel but somehow I ended up getting out of the car and he drove away. Damn, we hate arguing but yet we play this role… I was angry and wanted to walk back to the hotel and figure other options out… Nicky wanted to drive to the next town… only to remember we needed both of us to take cash out and I didn’t give him my card, plus I was kind of lost not knowing which way to walk… shame on me… I should have tried to talk things through instead of storming off… Shame on him, he should haven’t left without me… haha, I was also thinking he didn’t know where he was driving to… Because our phones’ internet wasn’t really working either, so Google maps was always going off.

The great thing is that the mobile phone carrier for calls was working, so I called him and said, “Mmm. You need to take my card with you… Can you please pick me up?” He came back, I got in the car, and we started driving.

 “Towards the next town”… Nicky thought we were heading back to the hotel, apparently our sense of direction isn’t the best….

We were both quite angry at the situation and at each other, but after getting in the car we put some very serious faces on and out of nowhere we both cracked up laughing. And somehow it became easier to look at this whole movie and to even enjoy its discomfort…

It’s funny how sometimes this happens. We might be mad and angry, but something just shifts… and the bad vibe between us is broken. Who is controlling this? How does this happen? Because in other moments, no matter how much we try we can be stuck in the bad vibe and working against each other. The truth is, no matter how much our egos are strong and stubborn, deep down in our hearts all we really want is to stay in love and connected and it’s much more fun to laugh and work as a team…

So what is in control? How does this all work? Does anyone know? I’m super far from figuring it out.

But back to our day…

Anyway… We then started to drive on this tiny road that was under construction. Only one lane was working… we were halfway up the lane when cars started to come down, making us go back…

It was quite ridiculous… It was almost as if the universe was pushing us back… And of course we were still laughing but also angry with the adversity and weirdness of the situation. Thank God Nicky is a great driver… he managed to reverse all the way back down the hill, to let all the trucks, cars, and motorbikes come down.  We waited for all the traffic and managed to drive back up, so finally we could continue our journey to the next town.

– What is this good for? Nicky asked God out loud.

We have this thing… the both of us talk to God out loud in front of each other. It did look like a great charade, a big joke from the universe.

We kept on going to finally arrive at this little town and to find out the cash point was not working at all, so we really had no option but to stay longer or try another day. We didn’t want to be in a car driving around, we wanted to be at the beach, swimming with the fishes and enjoying ourselves, but we were doing all these boring trivial things and everything was so freaking difficult.

The good thing was the little town had a supermarket, and for a miracle they accepted cards, so we thought we would buy all kinds of snacks to cheer ourselves up, plus we had no extra cash to pay for stuff in our hotel or the restaurant (which btw didn’t take cards).

So, like two little kids we started getting all the things we wanted to stuff our faces with. We went to the cashier to pay. All the shopping was placed in the paper bag and Nicky grabbed it while I finished paying.

Now the movie gets funnier. As he is walking out, the whole bag breaks and all our shopping is literally all over the street right in front of the supermarket… and what is even funnier is the fact that Nicky decided just to keep on walking forward without even looking back, rising his hands up as if to say ‘I give up’,  (yet he just left and didn’t even look back).

I really wish there was a camera filming this… everyone was looking at him and at me. I also raised my hands and said yeah this just happened! And I cracked up laughing. The packing guy in the store helped me put the stuff back into a new bag while Nicky walked back shaking his head, signalling to me that something is definitely out of order.

We made our way back to the car… and on the way there was this little game house which was an internet place! So I said: Yes! Babe, they gotta have Wi-Fi here… let’s ask…

Once again, where is a film maker when you need them?

First of all, let me give you some context…

Nicky Brouwer is a tall handsome man. Okay I don’t wanna get carried away on compliments, but the guy is hot… and very blond. I already mentioned the blue eyes, right!?  He is standing out in this little town in the middle of nowhere in the Philippines, and the fact he is very “white” is already enough to call all eyes to turn attention towards him, or to identify him as a walking cash machine (yep that happens in Asia).

I’m Brazilian… Funny enough… my olive skin and mixed European background, with a hint of indigenous tribe, gives me a kind of look of  “I could be from anywhere”, so most countries I travel to, especially in Asia,  have a question mark on their faces that asks is this girl from here? And what is she doing with this white guy?  Plus… I’m not that bad looking either…

So let’s just say there were a loooot of eyes looking at us…

So… there we were, going into this tiny internet café made out of wood, full of guys playing video games on old looking computers… We walk in and everyone starts staring. We stopped at the counter and I asked the lady: Do you have Wi-Fi?

She didn’t move… In fact she did not even blink. To be more precise she didn’t even looked at us. She was looking up at some screen so I asked again… again no reaction. I immediately started laughing. This was just too funny. Nothing was working out. Everything was weird.

And finally, after a few more seconds of awkwardness, she looked towards us and said no it’s not working… 

At this point I just relaxed and completely let go of trying to get cash, Wi-Fi, or any easy outcome…

We left the internet cafe (that had no internet), got in the car, and stared heading to our hotel.

I remember asking each other what is going on?

And as we are trying to leave, again on another tiny road (there are many tiny roads in Donsol), a car simply drives towards us.. Now things are getting totally out of control. The car was quite posh, completely black, including the windows… we could not see anything inside of it… no driver… no passengers… Nicky looked at me and said: I’m not going back… I’m gonna get out the car and talk to them.

I tell you, I was a little afraid. For all I knew it could be the Philipino mafia (if there was one, they would drive that kinda car).

I tried to ask him to stay in the car, but I was also intrigued to know who the hell was in there. They didn’t move, didn’t put the window down… It was super weird…

Nicky said he would offer them money to go back… I asked him not to… first of all, we didn’t even have enough cash to pay our hotel bill, hahaha.

But I tell you what, this scene is stuck in my memory. Nicky right next to this car with our shared wallet (the wallet we bought for our couple’s traveling money, which is pink and full of owls, with huge eyes).

Now picture this… he is out, next to this car, holding this wallet, full of owls on it, looking at a black car with black windows. We can’t see any passengers… he looks at me and at the car… nothing happens. He is about to open his mouth to say something, and then the car simply backs away.

Nicky gets back in the driver’s seat… and we drive away.

To this day, we still wonder… who the hell was driving this car?

Was it a man? A woman? Were there more people inside?

Why they didn’t say a word or open the windows?

What a strange day, full of strange situations. Who was in the car?

But when we look back at this story, we look at each other and say it was God driving that car.

Just playing with us. Showing us how this life can be so unpredictable, that things are always happening in all sorts of ways.

Sometimes we are clearly creating our movie, attracting some situations, and at other times everything is so random and unpredictable.

The universe is in constant motion. Things are always changing, emotions, situations…

Sometimes everything is flowing so well. We feel in alignment with it, with our thoughts, with the very air we breathe. It all feels like one.

But at some points things are really stuck and everything is hard… And we might feel lost…

And like in this story everything went wrong, but it became such a great funny story that we love to look back at it and it makes our travels more special and rich.

We went through a lot, me and Nicky… we had so many adventures.

And I just wonder what God would have told us if it was him driving the car. If he/she had turned the window down, what would be the words?

I would like to think the words would be “Enjoy your movie, one day you will be back here in the cosmic soup of creation and it will all be a dream… a memory… but for now, go and enjoy each other and explore this world.”

And my heart can only sigh with love and appreciation for sharing this movie with my best friend, my lover, my adventure partner …

Thank you God, for creating this opportunity to experience all this <3

Thanks for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina

The Twin Flame Black Hole

“We humans are made up of stardust. Our eyes reflect starlight. And when we crack it escapes and shines through.”
Vanshika Dhyani

For those who have had the infinite pleasure to meet their twin flame or twin soul , whichever the term it might be. For those who had to brave into the waters of unconditional love and learn about the non-time-space ways you are connected to another being; for those who truly experienced seeing their other half in another body; or even if you remember different lifetimes with your twin and have had the pleasure of re-encountering them in this lifetime as an incarnated being.

I have something to say to you.

Well, dear one, you were in for a ride huh! Did you know it was possible to love like this and to lose yourself into another being?  Did you know how hard it was to be apart from this other person whom you know deep down to the core?

Well, it’s no secret many are experiencing this phenomena and many are having to go through the stages of a twin flame relationship, including the most annoying one “the runner/chaser”, and the most agonizing one the “separation”. It’s rare to find Twins that managed to master their mission on Earth and stayed together in harmony, or managed to reunite after both realized who they were for each other.

In most cases there is an imbalance and one twin the “most spiritually evolved” one will be more aware of their mission and their connection, while the “less spiritually evolved” will run away and bla bla bla … (all that spiritual presumption of one person being further, or more realized then the other, which again diverts away from the actual energy of Love)

What does this sound like to you now ? What stage of your twin relationship are you at?

Well if you ask me here goes my own experience and perspective on this whole thing..

The Twin Flame experience has one main objective. To bring you back into Love, love with yourself , to love yourself unconditionally and this other person too. To accept yourself fully and completely  , to really see beyond this world and this body. To acknowledge who you are and what you are made of, to transcend separation, to understand we are ONE, and ultimately to be able to see God in everything.

So once you are in this place where you finally know Love you can  love freely, at least you can say you know what that means. Because you can love your twin with no conditions, you can now love yourself in the same way. You can then start taking the same approach into all areas of your life with new eyes, awakened eyes, eyes full of awareness.

And the most amazing thing is once you know who you really are, how complete and full and wonderful you truly are and that your happiness does not depend on anyone else, that nothing external can complete you, once you learn you are the creator and responsible for all your experiences, well, my friend, then you know that even though your twin is the exact same vibration and has the same soul signature as you, even then, you can see beyond that story.

If you survive the separation period and you learn all the lessons it had to  teach you, that you are your own flame, that no one in the world will be able to give you this love that is already within you. Love is meant to be emanated from you to the world.

So why do I call this the twin Flame black hole ?

Well around a year ago a healer friend of mine referred to the twin flame experience as a black hole.. I had no idea why he was saying that. In fact, I even though it was a little insensitive, however, that person was a kind wise being and so I remembered those words…

The Twin flame Black Hole

black-hole-by-NASA-864x497

For sure it will suck you in with full power, because the story of finding and meeting your one true love is  way too juicy.  It will change all your thoughts about yourself and love and you will disappear into nothingness . After entering this black hole you will eventually emerge as a whole new person, a new thing… You won’t recognize who you are anymore and it won’t even matter.

Because you know you are Love .

The most amazing thing is that’s being or not being with your twin won’t hurt you anymore because you are already complete. You will be able to continue loving your twin dearly and unconditionally , but you won’t believe in that story of neediness , or the fact there is only one true love in the whole universe that is yours, and that if you don’t find that person you won’t be happy. That’s just impossible.

You will be able to love anyone you wish too. Because you will have learnt, after emerging from the black whole, beyond a certain point we are all the same energy.  You will trust your heart and be able to open it to the lightness of being free to love anyone you wish to love.

And most importantly you will listen to the truth in love, a love that is free to be with no judgment, light and warming like the sunshine on a winter day.  A love with no fear, not even when it makes fear arise to be looked at.  No fear to feel fear, it’s the gift true love gives you.

And if it does not serve you,  you will be able to let go of it, just as you picked it up. Being able to continue to hold infinite amounts of love for any person you truly love – one or one hundred, love is infinite.

The funny thing is, now that you know who you are it is very enjoyable because there are no ways you can fool yourself, because you know anything making you uncomfortable, tense, is not in the other person, but is within yourself. So you can go through your patterns and let go of them, you might not even have the need to engage with them, you know how blessed you are for being able to share any of this experience with another  being.

And of course you will know there is no need to be rejected because when you fully love and accept yourself, any type of rejection can only be done to oneself, not to other. Because when you emerge a new after the black hole nothing will have a hold on you; and you will be able to find love in anyone and anything.

The black hole is absolutely beautiful and equally terrifying, as for those who entered there is no return.

1.13743-C0141244-Black_hole_artwork-SPL-1

“Black holes are the seductive dragons of the universe, outwardly quiescent yet violent at the heart, uncanny, hostile, primeval, emitting a negative radiance that draws all toward them, gobbling up all who come too close. Once having entered the tumultuous orbit of a black hole, nothing can break away from its passionate but fatal embrace. Though cons of teasing play may be granted the doomed, ultimately play turns to prey and all are sucked haplessly―brilliantly aglow, true, but oh so briefly so―into the fire-breathing maw of oblivion. Black holes, which have no memory, are said to contain the earliest memories of the universe, and the most recent, too, while at the same time obliterating all memory by obliterating all its embodiments. Such paradoxes characterize these strange galactic monsters, for whom creation is destruction, death life, chaos order. And darkness illumination: for, as dragons are also called worms, so black hole are known as wormholes, offering a mystical and intimate pathway to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, thus bring light as they consume it.”
Robert Coover, A Child Again

Be brave, and dive into the mystery of YourSelf so you can finally learn how to truly love while being in this body.

Thank you for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos