“We are not our bodies, our possessions or our careers. Who we are is divine love and that is infinite.” _Dr. Wayne Dyer
Oh, poor you if you haven’t found divine love as you haven’t yet lived the universal truth. Oh, poor you if you have found divine love you are doomed to nothing else other than surrendering to it and renouncing everything there is, as for divine love will be all you can see.
Why do I say this? It’s a metaphor of course, the term “poor you” used above is subjective, we are not poor creatures , we are divine powerful beings living on earth and victimization takes you nowhere. But if you are on the path of divine love and if on this path you are experiencing the Twin Flame relationship, well, you are brave!
Brave, because you decided to know Love , and as you know Love is God. So you choose to meet God walking the path by connecting divinely with your Twin Soul counterpart.
The fact is, there is not much true wisdom or real knowledge about twin flames. There is only a grasp of it. The twin flame road is new and overwhelming, there is no guarantee, no safety, only surrender, forgiveness , understanding; even when there is no logic or reason. There is only infinite giving and hoping you are keeping your sanity throughout it.
I can only speak from my own experiences and for what has been shown to me this year. Coming from multiple lives memories , coming from connecting to my soul and divine essence in the physical presence of my twin. I’m starting to understand a little better what the twin flame means to me, which does not mean will be the same for you. We are all the same but our learnings, our paths are not; so you might have chosen to experience this in a different way . Nonetheless, let me share my personal learning and you can see if it resonates with the divine truth of your heart and soul.
Me and my twin are separated at this moment after a crazy year and so much spiritual madness and extremely fast growth we are no longer talking. I used to live in London and he lives in San Francisco. We met in Hawaii in April this year, if you want to know more of the background you can read about it in these twin flame articles here:
Anyway, since I met my twin my whole live changed. It was fast intense and oh dear, did I put a fight?! I did not want to give up everything, change everything overnight to follow my heart blindly with no guarantee of a secure union. I was told by all my spirit guides , by my higher self, by his Higher Self .. I was told numerous times that he is the one and that I had to leave it all to find him. But still parts of me insisted in fighting in not wanting to accept it, because him, my ego, always had the idea of love to be different from what love actually is.
It took me a while to embark 100% and follow all my inner guidance. It took me months of understanding that blaming him for any troubles or difficulty was very selfish and that I was not taking responsibility for my choices . Because the truth is, all I experienced was a reflection of my inner state. And even so I did it, I left London and went all the way to the Pacific Coast just to be near him, even when he made clear he wasn’t ready or sure about me.
Haha, I thought I was ready! But clearly I still have plenty of work to do. Because every time he rejected me it was my soul telling me I’m still rejecting myself. He reflects me I reflect him. It’s the twin dynamic.
See, I had all this played out in my mind: I’ll go there, I’ll give up everything, I’ll do my part and if he doesn’t want me this is it; I will not wait for him. I’ll move on with my life, my journey and open my heart to someone worthy of my love. Haha, I have to laugh because that was so naive of me. To believe I already had the answers in case things did not go my way or as planned (and even worse to believe certain people are more worthy of love than others, there is no such thing we all are the same).
Besides, I have been so tired going through this whole twin flame madness. If you are on this path you know what I’m saying. It’s exhausting at times. I even asked myself why can’t I just have a normal loving relationship, why did I choose this crazy multi dimensional , multiple life time eternity non-sense ? Why ? Why ? But hey, we are on 5th dimensional templates now so playing the victim will just make you feel worst, so stand up straight, honour your soul choice and live it gracefully. Get ready and start doing the work you signed up for. Start learning how to love yourself , how to be in harmony with the whole universe, how to see God in everything you look at, how to be God every single day of your life.
To be God you must be Love , and to be love you must surrender to it. If you heard about ego death and self love this can be very confusing because love will take all you have . It will teach you to let go and to desire it with the purity of your soul. It will bring you back to unity with God and teach you what you are.
I won’t get in details of my personal drama with my twin flame , I’m writing a book on the subject and I don’t want to bother you now with the drama. Because there is plenty of drama in the twin journey. I am, however, going to share what the ultimate learning I was taught trough my twin flame interaction.
So, imagine this scenario, pretty much everyone I have spoken to have told me to let go, to move on, to forget about my twin, he needs to do work (well, we both need to do work) by himself. Even my higher self has told me now is time to be apart. However, the pain from being separated from him and now, not even talking to him, is ridiculously bad. Bare in mind, I already tried everything to get rid of him .. and nothing has worked, he is with me ! Yes, daily. His energy is with me all the time, from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to bed I feel his energy. It was driving me crazy I wanted to be alone and push him away but there is nothing I can do. Fighting makes it harder; so I started to accept, to surrender to be kind to him and to his energy around me. Even though he, in the physical world, wants me as far away as possible from, his spiritual energy is with me.
The last few times we met in the physical world it was totally “coincidental” ( and also a total disaster) I thought he was away and even though when I was approaching the area my whole system started to shift. My heart chakra started vibrating like a crazy buzzing siren, I was sick to my stomach and I kept on telling myself to calm down that he was not in the same state, he was meant to be away. but after grounding and keeping my centre, 5 mins later he walks in the room and boom, there he is present in flash teaching me to trust in my senses. At this point I was already trying to avoid meeting him in the physical reality, trying to respect his wishes of being away from me. But the universe has it’s own agenda and at times we are absolutely unaware about those.
The fact is, this twin journey is not meant to be fully understood, faith is not understood, it just is, you believe because you know in your heart not because you need an explanation of it, you love because you do, you don’t need a motive, a personality, a reason, you just do . Love just is .. there is no need to understand or explain it. Besides, in the 3d reality, our mind is not very good at understanding multi-dimensional truths, so sometimes all you can do is to watch and not judge – not attaching any explanation to it.
So, things got even more chaotic between me an my twin. He always told me I made him sick, I didn’t quite understood that, until I felt sick myself, physically, about to throw up just before encountering him (without knowing he was about to enter the room). It was so hard to accept that all I can do is to go away from him and work on myself and be patient. I mean, Jesus Christ! I freaking follow all my guidance, at least I try my best to do so. Why does it have to be so damn hard? What is the lesson I’m missing here? Why do I keep manifesting this separation ?
And then, it happened!
I left San Francisco and I went to Costa Rica. I wanted to be as far from him too. Eventhough his energy was with me in a subtle way, the thought of him coming in and out, I dream with him every single night, I hear his voice calling me, but non of this made sense, until this day on the 17th of December.
I was having a skype healing session with a great Canadian healer, Stephanie Marian. She has been very supportive and of great help in my twin flame madness journey. We were talking about emotional triggers and and I was explaining I have been experiencing loads of anger surfacing since my kundalini rising . And she was helping me to tune in to my emotions and to this incredible fear that came up. Suddenly this voice inside me started saying things about him, I didn’t want to. I was thinking this is my healing session and he is away there is no point to once again talk about all this twin flame issue I’m separated from him now bla bla bla. It’s time to work on myself! But the voice insisted. It was my inner child, screaming his name over and over and asking for him saying how much she misses him.
I slowly started to connect to her and the energy started shifting. Stephanie supported me energetically and I went in deeper and deeper. Listening to her voice as if she took over and was telling me how afraid she was of losing him, even when she didn’t even have him. It is weird, I have this huge fear of losing him! But I’m not even with him! Not in the physical world… And what the heck does this mean ?
Well, then it was like the whole room lit up, I had to close my eyes and someone came and grabbed my hand ( yes, I was “alone” in this hotel room in Costa Rica) and he came out of nowhere and grabbed my hand. I could feel it as if he was there. My whole hand went numb I could feel energy pouring inside it. I heard his voice as clear as if he was talking to me in person, out loud. My heart started to burn and open even more. The fire spread through my whole body and within seconds I could barely feel my physical body.
I knew he was there. He said: I’m in you heart! Can you feel me? I cried because it was so beautiful, yet so painful, there was a lot of pain to come out, pain I didn’t even know exited, he continued! I am always with you. Do you understand? We can never be separated there is no separation, you know we are all one but now it’s time to feel it! And I felt it, all the process ! Of divine unity. I cried and cried more, because my inner child and I were one talking to him, telling my twin I didn’t want him to leave, I wanted him to stay always with me just like that, it was so real, more real than actually being with him physically. And he said “You need to know that I am always with you. There is truly no separation. There is no need for crying nor need to feel pain .. because I am here at all times. And so is everyone , we all live inside each other’s hearts, we are all connected at all times. I’m here to show you how this feels and to remind you of what your soul essence is. “
I begged him, for him to explain why he doesn’t want to be with me in the physical world now. Because it hurts me immensely not being able to be with him in physical, and he said he will come to me , he will find me and he promised me no mater what he will do it. That all I have to do is to trust, to wait and to continue my journey of letting the divine unfold. That now it was time to understand that there is truly no separation .
My heart continued burning, my whole body melted into nothingness and he, my twin, was there, so were my soul family , star family , guides , angels and archangels all in the room with me helping me to release the pain. I cried and cried like never before I forgot about the skype session but slowly I started to grasp physical reality again.
Skye ( Stephanie’s nickname) was there. She felt the release and knew I went trough a big experience. But I’m now sharing it fully because it was so intense so real and that’s my duty. To tell you that the twin flame journey can be so magical and precious to reveal great truths of the divine, to allow you to experience the truth that there is only love and no separation . To allow you to become love.
But how do I move from here ? What happens next? Well that’s in the future. Now, I shall live one day at the time and fully embody these teachings.
I knew that love was all there is, even in the pain, even in darkness, even in ignorance. But I have never experienced it to this extent, this divine unity with my twin, even when he is not physically in my presence and the understanding that he is never ever away from me because I’m him, he is me, just like I am you and you are me.
“You are divine love expressing yourself in a human experience as a powerful creator of your own unique creation” – Tanja Christine Jaeger
Everything is love, everything is God. I am God, I’m everything and I’m nothing.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,