Tag Archives: karmic relationships

When the universe talks to you.

“The Universe is always speaking to us… sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, look around, and believe in something else, something more.” _ Nancy Thayer

This life… What a mystery!

There are certain things that you can never forget… and the story I’m about to tell you is simply one of the greatest series of small weird events that I will forever treasure in my heart.

It’s really crazy if you stop to think that our very memories are what give us the definition of time itself. By bringing them up in our minds, we can relive them and bring them to our present moment.

We were in love in paradise, haha. The Philippines! To be more precise, we were in Donsol Bay.. a very remote part of Manila where technology hasn’t quite picked up the pace yet.. We went there in the hope of adventure and some whale sharks!

On one hand it is great not to have internet, no working Wi-Fi.. It’s almost as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist, but that I won’t simply account to lack of internet. When me and my loved one are together it’s almost like we are swallowed by this big bubble and the rest of the world disappears and our movie starts playing…

And oh boy! What a movie that is.

I can honestly tell you, life can be anything but boring when we are together… Even when I’m bored he starts immediately teasing me with the repetitive and constant saying: Baby are you bored, are you bored, are you bored are you bored… almost like a song he made up. And immediately the boredom disappears.

Oh Nicky, God was in a veeery great mood when he created you!

On this particular day, we had an important task… We needed to pay our hotel bill, and you would guess the good folks of Donsol would take cards… but no…  They were only accepting cash…

We were trying to figure out where to go so we could get cash from a cash point, but things were not so straight forward in Donsol Bay…

So we decided to figure it out, where and how to sort this payment situation, while all we wanted to do was enjoy our holiday and not have to worry about chasing this money.

Our first attempt was to find good working Wi-Fi… because we wanted to book our flights to Nepal which were going up every day, but for some reason the Wi-Fi in our hotel wasn’t good enough. We were recommended to try an air b and b in town that apparently had a good Wi-Fi connection.

We got in the car… Nicky siting behind the wheel. He gave me that look, with his big blue eyes, raising his eyebrows and putting up a smile without showing his teeth, as if he is about to deliver some secret message and boom, he pushes in this CD which has the craziest instrumental song, as if we are boarding a space ship and then he says: Welcome To Planet Earth!

I laughed, it was like… okay, let’s see what kind of adventures this day will bring us. The music kept on playing while I looked out the windows admiring the leaves on the trees… The different shades of green and the beautiful sunshine passing through them…

Earlier that morning, the first thing we did was to jump out of our bedroom’s balcony and jump in the water for a swim. Kissing, hugging, making love. Surrounded by coconut trees… What a way to live life, just writing about this now I get goose bumps and tears in my eyes, and this wave of love and excitement runs throughout my body.

But back to the car… Chasing this little place, looking for the air b and b and the good Wi-Fi… This experience wasn’t quite as glamorous. We found the place, knocked on the door, and this lovely lady came out to let us in with a smile on her face.

We walked in her house asking about the Wi-Fi and said it was well recommended, and if she could help us… but it didn’t look like the universe was on our side… or so we thought.

After half an hour trying and failing, we asked what options would be available for us to get cash and we started to get a little agitated. It’s funny how some things we are used to in Europe can get under our skin when in a faraway country. No working Wi-Fi… That was a no go for Nepal, or further bookings which we needed for the next step of our trip, so we then decided to focus on the next big task, which was paying our hotel bill with no working cash place in Donsol, no banks open as it was the weekend… The next step was to drive to the nearby small town.

We were both a little irritated, this time Nicky was a little more sensitive to the situation. I was trying to keep cool and calm, but of course the stress created a little arguing. We were both determined to solve the payment issue and we both wanted to solve it in our own ways. We wanted to get cash out to pay the hotel but somehow I ended up getting out of the car and he drove away. Damn, we hate arguing but yet we play this role… I was angry and wanted to walk back to the hotel and figure other options out… Nicky wanted to drive to the next town… only to remember we needed both of us to take cash out and I didn’t give him my card, plus I was kind of lost not knowing which way to walk… shame on me… I should have tried to talk things through instead of storming off… Shame on him, he should haven’t left without me… haha, I was also thinking he didn’t know where he was driving to… Because our phones’ internet wasn’t really working either, so Google maps was always going off.

The great thing is that the mobile phone carrier for calls was working, so I called him and said, “Mmm. You need to take my card with you… Can you please pick me up?” He came back, I got in the car, and we started driving.

 “Towards the next town”… Nicky thought we were heading back to the hotel, apparently our sense of direction isn’t the best….

We were both quite angry at the situation and at each other, but after getting in the car we put some very serious faces on and out of nowhere we both cracked up laughing. And somehow it became easier to look at this whole movie and to even enjoy its discomfort…

It’s funny how sometimes this happens. We might be mad and angry, but something just shifts… and the bad vibe between us is broken. Who is controlling this? How does this happen? Because in other moments, no matter how much we try we can be stuck in the bad vibe and working against each other. The truth is, no matter how much our egos are strong and stubborn, deep down in our hearts all we really want is to stay in love and connected and it’s much more fun to laugh and work as a team…

So what is in control? How does this all work? Does anyone know? I’m super far from figuring it out.

But back to our day…

Anyway… We then started to drive on this tiny road that was under construction. Only one lane was working… we were halfway up the lane when cars started to come down, making us go back…

It was quite ridiculous… It was almost as if the universe was pushing us back… And of course we were still laughing but also angry with the adversity and weirdness of the situation. Thank God Nicky is a great driver… he managed to reverse all the way back down the hill, to let all the trucks, cars, and motorbikes come down.  We waited for all the traffic and managed to drive back up, so finally we could continue our journey to the next town.

– What is this good for? Nicky asked God out loud.

We have this thing… the both of us talk to God out loud in front of each other. It did look like a great charade, a big joke from the universe.

We kept on going to finally arrive at this little town and to find out the cash point was not working at all, so we really had no option but to stay longer or try another day. We didn’t want to be in a car driving around, we wanted to be at the beach, swimming with the fishes and enjoying ourselves, but we were doing all these boring trivial things and everything was so freaking difficult.

The good thing was the little town had a supermarket, and for a miracle they accepted cards, so we thought we would buy all kinds of snacks to cheer ourselves up, plus we had no extra cash to pay for stuff in our hotel or the restaurant (which btw didn’t take cards).

So, like two little kids we started getting all the things we wanted to stuff our faces with. We went to the cashier to pay. All the shopping was placed in the paper bag and Nicky grabbed it while I finished paying.

Now the movie gets funnier. As he is walking out, the whole bag breaks and all our shopping is literally all over the street right in front of the supermarket… and what is even funnier is the fact that Nicky decided just to keep on walking forward without even looking back, rising his hands up as if to say ‘I give up’,  (yet he just left and didn’t even look back).

I really wish there was a camera filming this… everyone was looking at him and at me. I also raised my hands and said yeah this just happened! And I cracked up laughing. The packing guy in the store helped me put the stuff back into a new bag while Nicky walked back shaking his head, signalling to me that something is definitely out of order.

We made our way back to the car… and on the way there was this little game house which was an internet place! So I said: Yes! Babe, they gotta have Wi-Fi here… let’s ask…

Once again, where is a film maker when you need them?

First of all, let me give you some context…

Nicky Brouwer is a tall handsome man. Okay I don’t wanna get carried away on compliments, but the guy is hot… and very blond. I already mentioned the blue eyes, right!?  He is standing out in this little town in the middle of nowhere in the Philippines, and the fact he is very “white” is already enough to call all eyes to turn attention towards him, or to identify him as a walking cash machine (yep that happens in Asia).

I’m Brazilian… Funny enough… my olive skin and mixed European background, with a hint of indigenous tribe, gives me a kind of look of  “I could be from anywhere”, so most countries I travel to, especially in Asia,  have a question mark on their faces that asks is this girl from here? And what is she doing with this white guy?  Plus… I’m not that bad looking either…

So let’s just say there were a loooot of eyes looking at us…

So… there we were, going into this tiny internet café made out of wood, full of guys playing video games on old looking computers… We walk in and everyone starts staring. We stopped at the counter and I asked the lady: Do you have Wi-Fi?

She didn’t move… In fact she did not even blink. To be more precise she didn’t even looked at us. She was looking up at some screen so I asked again… again no reaction. I immediately started laughing. This was just too funny. Nothing was working out. Everything was weird.

And finally, after a few more seconds of awkwardness, she looked towards us and said no it’s not working… 

At this point I just relaxed and completely let go of trying to get cash, Wi-Fi, or any easy outcome…

We left the internet cafe (that had no internet), got in the car, and stared heading to our hotel.

I remember asking each other what is going on?

And as we are trying to leave, again on another tiny road (there are many tiny roads in Donsol), a car simply drives towards us.. Now things are getting totally out of control. The car was quite posh, completely black, including the windows… we could not see anything inside of it… no driver… no passengers… Nicky looked at me and said: I’m not going back… I’m gonna get out the car and talk to them.

I tell you, I was a little afraid. For all I knew it could be the Philipino mafia (if there was one, they would drive that kinda car).

I tried to ask him to stay in the car, but I was also intrigued to know who the hell was in there. They didn’t move, didn’t put the window down… It was super weird…

Nicky said he would offer them money to go back… I asked him not to… first of all, we didn’t even have enough cash to pay our hotel bill, hahaha.

But I tell you what, this scene is stuck in my memory. Nicky right next to this car with our shared wallet (the wallet we bought for our couple’s traveling money, which is pink and full of owls, with huge eyes).

Now picture this… he is out, next to this car, holding this wallet, full of owls on it, looking at a black car with black windows. We can’t see any passengers… he looks at me and at the car… nothing happens. He is about to open his mouth to say something, and then the car simply backs away.

Nicky gets back in the driver’s seat… and we drive away.

To this day, we still wonder… who the hell was driving this car?

Was it a man? A woman? Were there more people inside?

Why they didn’t say a word or open the windows?

What a strange day, full of strange situations. Who was in the car?

But when we look back at this story, we look at each other and say it was God driving that car.

Just playing with us. Showing us how this life can be so unpredictable, that things are always happening in all sorts of ways.

Sometimes we are clearly creating our movie, attracting some situations, and at other times everything is so random and unpredictable.

The universe is in constant motion. Things are always changing, emotions, situations…

Sometimes everything is flowing so well. We feel in alignment with it, with our thoughts, with the very air we breathe. It all feels like one.

But at some points things are really stuck and everything is hard… And we might feel lost…

And like in this story everything went wrong, but it became such a great funny story that we love to look back at it and it makes our travels more special and rich.

We went through a lot, me and Nicky… we had so many adventures.

And I just wonder what God would have told us if it was him driving the car. If he/she had turned the window down, what would be the words?

I would like to think the words would be “Enjoy your movie, one day you will be back here in the cosmic soup of creation and it will all be a dream… a memory… but for now, go and enjoy each other and explore this world.”

And my heart can only sigh with love and appreciation for sharing this movie with my best friend, my lover, my adventure partner …

Thank you God, for creating this opportunity to experience all this <3

Thanks for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina

Twin Flames And Past Life Connections – Learning How To Heal Your Relationships

A lot of people know that one of the main signs of a Twin Flame connection is the memory of past lives together. Not only is that reflected directly in your current reality, but it is also common knowledge that until present times, Twin Flames were not permitted to stay together in the physical reality, as the light quotient of the planet and the collective wouldn’t be as high as it is now. Therefore, in past lives, things would not have ended in a very pleasant way. I guess you all know about Romeo and Juliet.. well, it’s kind of like that full of tragedy. I’ll  to try to take the edge of this topic, as it is intense.

How do these past life connections affect your present life connection with your Twin Flame?

Firstly, it is important to know that only at present times, the energy allows twins to connect harmoniously in physical reality. That is because of the global changes and the process of ascension.

Secondly, Twins of all kinds have been in intensive training to bring something greater to the ascension process. It could be on an purely energetic level, working level, friendship level or as a romantic connection. The fact is that this divine union is now allowed for those twins who want to do the work.

I met my Twin Flame in Hawaii, April 2015, guided to go on a journey of the heart. I knew something important was going to happen and I wasn’t sure of what, but things started to reveal slowly and I soon realised he was my Twin Flame.

It was a bit of a shock when I had my first past life memory of me and my Twin, in fact it made things messier, because my twin is very resistant towards these ” supernatural ” explanations, so I had to keep this to myself. Nonetheless, I have been guided to write about this, as it can be of value for many Twins who, like me, want to work and heal their past relationships on all levels, and most importantly the relationship with themselves!

Yes, all this karmic drama adds to the pot and to the intensity of the energy. Even if you haven’t remembered the past life connection, rest assure that a big part of the fear and discomfort you experience while in connection with your twin is directly related to all the past lives where you two were ripped apart from each other.

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Romeo and Juliet , eternal Twin Flames – another tragic love story

Understand that you both signed up for living those experiences. That’s part of the training; it’s part of how you each trigger each other. It’s part of your growing and learning.

I’m going to give a personal example on how you can do something proactive to start healing aspects of this relationship and to ease the energy and intensity of your current life connection with your twin flame. Have in mind that this is not for everyone, that’s a part of my journey and I have been guided to share it.

Basically, while in meditation, I was told by my Higher Self that I was to go back in time and heal all my relationships. There are various ways of how you can do this. Let your intuition guide you. You can do it by yourself, or with the help of a healer. I have been working on both levels, in fact, even while dreaming. My intention is so strong that the healing is happening on all levels,  at a deeper cellular level too.

While in Glastonbury, 8th of August 2015, I received a healing where my Higher Self guided me to specific events back in time and showed me exactly what had to be healed. In this particular case I healed 3 different past lives I lived with my twin. But I’ll focus on the example of the one which I spoke about earlier in this article – the one which was my very first past life memory of me and my twin flame. I had this memory while talking to him on the phone , in the early stages of our connection back in May 2015 (I live in England and he lives in California ). My initial memories of our past lives together were connected to him and his current best friend in, and there was a lot of pain connected to it. I saw myself crying on the floor and I knew they were both there but wasn’t sure what had happened.  I knew deep healing was needed.

During the healing, I was taken back in time to 1880 in America, and while remembering this life my first feelings were of joy and excitement when I realised I had just been promised in marriage to a man. My father had arranged the marriage and I was very pleased and happy as I believed it was a perfect match. I remember getting married to this handsome man and starting to have a very fulfilling life with him, full of love. Our marriage was very good for me and made me feel safe and loved. However, on a second instance I was taken further in time when the brother of the man I was married to returned from war. He was a soldier and I remember distinctly the feeling of seeing him for the first time.  It was my twin flame; I had the exact same feeling as I had when I met my twin flame in this incarnation (in April 2015). Anyway, the feelings were very confusing as I had this intense pull towards my twin flame but being married to his brother I could only fight against those feelings. Once again, taken further in time my husband had started travelling for business and I was left in the company of my then brother-in-law.

I now remember clearly how we fell in love back in that time; we were at a city ball and he insisted on a dance. It sounds so simple it was all that it took – one dance – to have his arms around my body and to look into his eyes.  I now remember everything about that moment. The lights in the room, the people fading around as we danced, and I remember the blue colours of his army uniform and the sparkle in his eyes. Most of all, I remember my heart fully opening and connecting to his. It was a magical moment. However, once again pushed further in time I was now in a mess between two brothers whom I loved. It didn’t take long between my husband’s travelling for him to realise what was going on, and in rage,  in an act of madness, he killed my twin and after that killed himself. I was left crying in agonising pain, grasping over their dead bodies, with blood all around my hands from hugging and clinging to nothingness. Not much further in that lifetime I made my way to a river where I drowned myself and took my own life in deep despair.

So yes, very tragic, it was just as bad as Titanic, or another one of those crazy twin soul disasters.

Luckily, with the help of the Shaman, I was able to float around between lives and send to all this drama light and love and start the healing process, explaining to all souls involved why that had happened and why we agreed to live that dynamic.

The best part is the healing; when that’s done you re-write your past and live it in a different way. In this case, I ended up meeting my twin and marrying him, while his brother was also happily married to his counterpart. We experienced a healthy relationship full of light and love. With no drama. Once that was done I took this healed memory and placed it on top of the lifelines of each one of us involved in this memory. Very important here , replacing this did not erase all the learning and experiences of the actual life time, it only replaced the feelings and emotions healing all at a soul level, easing the intense pain and karma of all involved in this play.

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Now I’m not telling you that you should go and do this, I’m simply sharing what I experienced and how healing it has been for me. The truth is that we don’t even need to go back to the past – we can do the work right here, as we all have the tools. It does shows us the understanding of how things work on a greater level and that everything we live has a deeper meaning, and that the opportunities we have now is for healing and growth in all relationship levels.

Please understand that you have the power to change everything in your reality, to heal, to manifest, to create. We all have this opportunity now more than ever to break free from our own self imposed shackles.

Of course, It is challenging, we are strong souls who have incarnated so many times on this earth. It’s very interesting how everything is so connected and how we keep reconnecting with people/souls life after life.

Funny enough the brother whom I was married to in that past life is in this life time my twin’s best friend, whom I share a great amount of love and admiration for. I met him the same day as I meet my twin .. That’s another story and I’ll be happy to tell you all about it another time.

The greater learning here was to understand that now energy is allowing twins to reconnect to remember and to heal all of that karmic mess, so we can be free and let go. So we can choose how we decide to live our lives. We are allowed to remember our soul origin sparkle shared with our twin, as well as what divine love and connection is; acknowledging  how it’s played out in physical relationships between people and different life times.

We have the power to choose what we want and how to heal everything. By opening up our hearts and embracing the magnificent unknown mystical wisdom. Remembering who we truly are.

May your twin flame and all relationship connections heal you. Be brave, true strength comes from within. You are here for a reason. It’s time to heal.

Thank you for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

Twin Flame Separation – Running From Self, Facing Fears, Healing And Transmuting Energy

So, it has been a little while since my last article about twin flames: Twin Flame Connection- What Happens When You Meet Your Counterpart In The Physical Reality. It was such a crazy intense adventure that I’m still processing what the hell happened. In fact, I’m still processing and understanding what is happening right now. It is not easy to put into words this kind of experience, because it is not logical, it does not make sense, and many people don’t understand it. In fact it would be a big pretention of mine if I claimed I understood it fully, because I don’t.

However, I have been experiencing it, and I have had the fastest growth in my life so far through it. I’m not talking about pain; I’m talking about growth about inspiration and desire to know myself, to find out my truth. I guess that’s the most beautiful thing that happens when you meet your Twin Flame, your Twin Soul. This union allows you to go within to start getting in touch with your heart with the essence of who you truly are.

Speaking of the Running Process:

I wanted to talk about the running process and how it has manifested into my experience with the Twin Flame connection. So, apparently what happens is if both twins are not ready for the reunion, not fully aligned, one of them will run. This is a very paradoxical thing, because this rejection can only happen if there is rejection  in the twin they are running from. It works like polarities. As long as one is fully balanced and harmonised, the other one should not have the crazy need to run. But it is not that practical. There isn’t much of a rule; every case is different.

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For the Twin Union to happen in this physical reality the polarities must be balanced.

What I have noticed in both sides of my Twin Flame connection is the discomfort, even though from the first time I heard him saying he loved me, and when we both started having feelings for each other, everything was magical and perfect. However, the closer it got for us to reconnect in the physical reality, the bigger the discomfort grew.

It grew because I was forced to look within myself and review, acknowledge and accept every single aspect of myself – and yes maybe I was ready for it (of course I was, or else this opportunity would not have happened). I did feel that I was not ready, that I was not doing it willingly, and it was the freaking hardest thing I have ever done. At times, it felt like pure madness. I had this intense need to run as fast as I could, but I just could not make it. Instead, I kept getting pushed closer and closer to him. It is like a magnetic pull. I can’t run, but I don’t like to stay in it either. At least I had the awareness of the whole situation to be able to observe what was truly happening.

It’s very uncomfortable being near him. Although I love him completely and accept him the way he is, even when I can see the beauty of his soul and the transparency of his humanity, independently of how he acts, I still can’t help  but to feel this discomfort near him. He triggers me and I trigger him; it is impossible not to. Even when he is nice and loving, I still feel anger, sadness and other lower vibrational feelings towards him.

What is this teaching me? Who am I really running from? What am I rejecting here?

The answer is very simple; I’m running from the truth, I am running from myself!

sa_woman_2

 I don’t want to look within, I don’t want to understand why I have been acting this way. Or why the triggers kept setting up this atomic reaction of discomfort inside.

See, on a rational level it is very silly; I know he is a nice person, talented etc. Okay, he has faults like everyone does. The fact is he is not good nor bad. On a practical and very rational level, there should be no reason why I feel so challenged by his presence. Yet that’s not how it turns out to be.

The Twin Flame connection brings up all sorts of karmic issues for healing. It will lead you to go into a journey of Self Love and Self-understanding. In my case, it is really allowing me to find my true powers within myself. I’m learning about who I am and how to be free from any discomfort from any situation.

It’s a very big gift in disguise; I’m learning how to be totally comfortable in my own skin without the need to run from anything or anyone. I’m facing my life choices up to this point and empowering myself – acknowledging my reality has been a product of my choosing, and my learning process. I’m choosing how this reality will manifest in a way that’s aligned with my inner truth and with my soul.

Once I truly understand this, once I let go of this identity I have been invested in, once I learn about myself and fully love and accept myself, there will be no wanting to run, no discomfort, and no one will have this power over myself.

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A divine connection can never be broken – trust the process and go within.

And the truth is simple: no matter how much I love him or want to be connected with him, it doesn’t matter. This connection is divine and it cannot be broken. What matters is that I need to love and master myself, accept myself, and set myself free from the only thing capable of truly imprisoning me: Myself.

So my advice for those in this process is to truly let go, and to trust that whatever the outcome is, it will be perfect. Things are changing daily, there is so much happening on earth and if you are meant to be reunited with your twin flame in the physical reality fully and harmoniously,  if you are meant to work together in your divine connection, it will happen. But it will only happen when you let go and truly love yourself unconditionally.

Trust in the divine. It’s all happening perfectly, in the exact way it is meant to,  surrender to Love. And remember: you have the power to choose and to manifest what your heart desires.

Thank you for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos