Tag Archives: freak

I’m A Control Freak. Now What?

Most of us know by now, as proven countless times in our collective and individual history that control, in any way, shape or form, whether we do it to ourselves and/or to others, whether it is subtle  or apparent, it  is dysfunctional and it is something we eventually have to grow through for obvious reasons, but how do we actively do that and what does fully letting go of control means ?

Many of us have tried to control ourselves, what we’re experiencing and how and when, we tried to control the future because our minds thought it’s safer this way, it provides us with this very temporary feeling of comfort, an illusionary security.  For a moment, this might seem to work well, we feel safe and stable, and control does seem to create some kind of order in some ways, so it’s fine to play in it for a few moments, it serves a purpose. But in this space we’ve created, there is no room for expansion, for growth, for self-discovery and exploration. Control comes from some sort of fear always.

Simply put, as long as control is part of our daily practices, life won’t be lived to the fullest. It’s limiting our capacity, our potential, it steals our joy and it becomes exhausting to even try to control everything. Taken to the extreme, we will begin to try to control others around us, and this will just add up to our unhappiness, as control will most likely make relationships wither in time.

Then there comes a moment when this reality simply doesn’t serve us anymore and we are ready to grow and expand through it, and that’s when the reality that’s been built on control starts crumbling down bit by bit and things might get a little bit wonky then. There will be frustration, disappointment, constant irritation, exhaustion, and that’s O.K too. The reality as we knew it in “control-mode” is turned upside down, we are being shaken up, so we can expand. The control freak that’s in many of us begins to feel threatened and emotional reactions like the ones I just mentioned will follow on and on, until we allow ourselves to understand and integrate the wisdom that is being reflected in this experience, until we acknowledge the control freak within us and we allow it to mature and blossom into something more aligned with our free spirit.

Control can be such a great teacher, but to learn from it we have to pay attention like a student in class. In order to be able to learn from the teacher, there needs to be quiet in the room, pay attention to the lesson presented to absorb the knowledge, learn the lesson. Therefore, as with most things, we need to stop for a moment and reflect on our experience so far.

In essence, control is merely a cheap dualistic replica of our soul’s will and power, the aspect within us that “gets things done”, that moves things forward, the action taking aspect. We confused being in charge, an empowered individual with being in control, which are two completely different things.

Being in control means being fixated on very specific outcomes, it means supressing and repressing, as well as manipulating to get what we want, at times lying to do that, only to find ourselves living a life that lacks passion, adventure, spontaneity, and surrender. A dull life.

Being in charge means being aware that we are responsible in all ways for what we are experiencing and directing the energy consciously where we want it to go, as we surrender to what it is and will be, as we allow that directed energy to take the shape that serves us best. This is not to be confused with being passive. Action always needs to be taken, we are physical human beings. Divine will works through us, it doesn’t take actions for us. These actions that need to be taken will be revealed to us one way or another. We simply have to be receptive and open minded, open-hearted and in order to be receptive we have to be present in the moment of now, to be able to recognize and see clearly the opportunities that are being presented to us.

In this case, surrender is the key. Allowing life to unfold as it is, allowing ourselves to be who we are, allowing ourselves to experience what is, allowing ourselves to let go of perceptions, expectations with complete trust that all is unfolding perfectly for us, no matter how it looks in the moment or how chaotic everything might be.

One of the reasons why this dualistic earth experience/experiment is so precious is that we are learning and have learned the two sides of the same coin, so we can absorb the knowledge and wisdom from each experience to be able to choose the one we want.

With so many planets currently in retrograde, I felt compelled to share this piece of information. I see planets in retrograde as older siblings who sometimes playfully pick on us, teasing and triggering us, but love us unconditionally and want what’s best for us. The same goes with planets in retrograde. They highlight the aspects within us that need to be matured through “triggers.” They pick on those aspects and areas of our lives where progress might’ve been slow or inexistent. Those are the aspects and areas where growth and expansion are most needed for us to eventually blossom into a  whole and illumined human being.

The control freak aspect within us is very much picked on these days for many of us. The conditioning around control is very deep. Remember always that your response alone to a challenging outer or inner experience can shift an experience completely. Reacting strengthens and supports the on-going experience of the same thing, possibly with different nuances, players and playground. Many perceive this as some”karma” that is out to get us, because we did something “bad” and we’re “paying” for it. This perception is outdated, as that is not the case. When a pattern repeats itself, we create it to eventually transform, absorb its wisdom and integrate what’s necessary from it in our human psyche and, inevitably, in our daily lives. It’s all designed to facilitate our soul-human evolution.

Thank you for reading,

Love and Light,

Eddie