Tag Archives: awake

The Gift Of Death

“I learned that every mortal will taste death.But only some will taste life”

_Rumi

The life we live is a gift but can we see it as such?

Yes we can, and yet  at times all we can see is pain.

That’s part of life, that’s actually part of its mystery and its magic. It is through pain we grow and learn how to hold more love, more light. Becoming better human beings; more compassionate, humbler of how little we know.  Learning to be appreciative of the beautiful moments we have in this planet.

Looking at the bodies burning in the cremation grounds, in the sacred land of Nepal, is definitely an experience that I will never forget and with no doubt I wish to return to that place so many more times…

Pashupatinath Temple , Kathmandu

Why?

You might be thinking it’s such a morbid thing to do, but actually somehow that gives me great hope in humanity.

We act as we are invincible, but we are so fragile. Our lives can end at any moment and when I sit down and look at the fire consuming those bodies that are becoming ash, going back into the cosmic soup .. that’s when I truly value being alive in my own body.

My life can be told in so many different ways… I can choose to tell you all about my pain and my suffering, all the heart breaks, all the childhood trauma … and yes I do honour those moments that made me grow, that shaped me into such person that I am today.

I can also choose to tell you about the times I lost myself in that darkness and I wished for my own death … that I felt so alone and abandoned that it felt as my own essence was broken into a million pieces…

But today I tell you this story…

Yes, I can say to you I have not yet meet a human being that has not gone through this deep sense of being lost. We all have it. We make the most to hide it from others and from ourselves especially.

So this is how I will make good use of my words to empower myself and others. Like in the four agreements book, one of my favourites reads. You can use the word to create your life, your own reality. By the way you use this power, the power of the word, in the way and how you tell your story to others… Every time you choose pain and guilt, every time you portray yourself as a victim, you create more of that.

However, when you put yourself in a place of understanding, love and compassion, that my friends is true empowerment.

So the words I’m using here are to set myself even freer, to expand my soul. To look at death as the greatest gift, that makes me time after time appreciate being alive even if there were moments in which  I completely lost myself.

There is something, somehow, something within that keeps coming back up and pointing the way, bringing back all the love a, all the light , all the purity of my heart.

To wish for a better life, a better world, to create from a better place.

It’s okay to choose the same lover 1000 times even if you had your heart broken twice as much, it’s also okay to let them go and let God bring you new love … As long as you keep believing, having faith, growing, cherishing life, cherishing the treasures of your own heart.  Every choice you make is fine, you can keep on choosing anew everyday as long as you are choosing from a place of love, of truly living.

What does being alive means???

It is not just simply moving around in the body, doing things, waking up, going to work, being on auto pilot.

No, that’s existing!

Being alive means courage!

What is courage?

Courage is acting from a place from the heart.

This might be a hard explanation, because if you heart is closed … even if you are not coming from your thoughts you are in trouble … if you heart is closed, all you feel and do is coming out of survival, out of defensiveness, out of separation.

But when your heart is open nothing can hurt you, you come from a place of love, acceptance, inclusiveness. And although it might be frightening to make choices and be courageous and expose your heart to new hurts, what type of life would you rather live?

A sterile safe life, on auto pilot?

Or a life that gives you light in itself?

How do you express yourself? Is it from a place where you want to be seen doing what you “think” is right? Acting in a way in which the people around you will approve your choices?

Or is it from a place from true authenticity?

From a place of fulfilment and expansion?

From a place of true connection…

And what is true connection anyways?

Very few humans have the opportunity to experience that.

Everyone is so cover up with all types of masks, pretending acting in certain ways that is so rare when people truly connect showing al their vulnerability to one another.

Who are you here to impress?

Is the people around yourself? Your family?

Or is it your soul, your own heart?

I tell you, living from this place is almost impossible, it can be so volatile and you feel so exposed…

But that is living. That for me, in my own way of experiencing this life, that is being alive!

Listening you own heart and your soul, instead of listening to all the noise around you.

Keeping that strong knowing in your heart that all you have to do is nurture this inner connection.

So while I sit, looking at the burning bodies in the cremation ground, becoming ash. I tell myself: I will live and walk this path my own way. I will make choices that make me feel truly alive even if they absolutely sound insane to others, I will choose from my heart.  Then I will let go and let God guide me and show me the way.

With pure trust in that wisdom, the wisdom within, the wisdom of the universe.

Now I invite you to contemplate about your own life. To watch the end … To remember the gift of now. To cherish what is really important and to not waist any minute of your life living in fear because then you are already dead.

And because life is such an amazing adventure I will be taking some of my students/clients to Nepal so stay tuned or get in touch for more information.

Thanks for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos