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It’s funny how some things you do, and the ways you behave, are observed by others.
Sometimes you are very unaware of them because you never even had the chance to question or contemplate your behaviour and actions in relation to it. It isn’t until someone reminds you of them or acknowledges your actions that you realise what you have actually done, and how a big transformation has happened in your life.
My life was so hard, even though as a company director I was earning the most money I ever had. I was my own boss, and I ticked all the boxes I thought I needed in my career, working in the city of London “making it”. I was running in the hamster wheel and not understanding why something was missing, and why I felt so damn empty.
My life sure took a turn in December 2011. On the 9th of December, one week before I was going back home to Brazil for Christmas, looking forward to seeing my family, an unexpected event changed everything. Some things you feel with your soul but you’re not sure why; on the Friday I was talking about my brother and how righteous he was, and that he was one of the few policeman in the world I’d put my hand in the fire for.
When the telephone rang and I heard my mother’s voice trembling I knew something terrible had happened. She passed the phone to my father who said, “ Your Brother has been killed”.
Those words, the ones you never forget, they don’t even sound real because of the absurdity of them. I couldn’t believe it, because in a week he should be picking me up from the airport. It was like the world stopped turning. The screaming, the crying, I was in London so far away with no one from my family around to hold on to. My mother spoke again and she said call for him and ask for him to calm you down. So I sat on my sofa and this yellow aura-like energy took over my sobbing and my panic, and I was numbed but calm. I truly felt his energy, just like I’m feeling it right now writing this article.
He was cowardly shot dead while working, as a Federal police member it was not a common act. I saw it on TV , I watched the videos online not only of his death but also watched the people who killed him being captured.
Here it is, online for everyone to see it, It was like watching a movie and it didn’t look real at all but it sure felt real.
Here is when they killed him:
Here is When they caught the murderess:
The people who killed my brother are now in jail, they where sentenced to 26 to 30 years in prison.
Trust me, I don’t like going over this atrocity, but it is part of the point I’m trying to make, the point of transformation in which I am now.
His death has taught me so much, it really has. Incredibly, our connection has increased after his passing and the message it carried really played a major part in changing my life. After his death I went on a journey of starting to learn how to live, how to appreciate life, how to connect with my soul, discovering the truth beyond death, and learning how to forgive.
Yes, learning how to forgive.
It wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I had the chance to contemplate the forgiving. I was watching a documentary called The Dhamma Brothers, where prison inmates take part in a Vipasana meditation programme and go within themselves to understand, to learn, and to forgive.
While watching it, for the first time, I really felt compassion for prisoners. I mean, I always knew society, the childhood story and life itself play a major part in how a human being can turn out and make bad choices. But I never really experienced it in my life. It’s easy to blame it on the system and then say people had no choice when you are not involved in it. But when your dear brother is murdered, well then it’s personal. It made me understand how sad they truly must be inside, how desperate, how dark, and if they had the chance to deeply contemplate their actions, they would know what their actions have done to others, so how would they live with themselves? Well, they would have to have the true courage to forgive themselves for it.
So who am I to even be in the position of judging or forgiving them? They already have their own burden to deal with. I could not even imagine myself carrying it. I could only feel compassion for them. Yes I have forgiven them, but again it’s really not my place as they have to forgive themselves, once they came across their Truth, they will have the understanding.
So yes, I have changed and this gift of forgiveness is not really mine to give to them. I have a hard enough time learning how to forgive myself for everything I do and did. I carry my own burden, not only from this life. Who am I to judge others? It’s not my place. I can only send them love and prayers.
In my transformational process, I gained understanding during an Ayahuasca ceremony. I too was in hell, and I too had to face my demons. I had to see the darkness. Being in this other dimension where you are surrounded by demons, I understood the lower frequencies and distorted emotions that make us prisoners of self. It was a very hard lesson, but I asked to see. When it got too hard, I called for help. I said I have seen enough, please bring me back. Once again that familiar smile came over. Glowing in shimmering light, his hand grabbed mine, and he said come with me I’ll bring you back. My brother grabbed my hand once again, we met in the spiritual world and he pulled me back to this reality.
Taking Ayahuasca had a big impact in my heart opening, and it accelerated my transformational process. I sure have a lot to explore in relation to this experience, but I’ll save it for other articles.
So yes, I have to be really thankful to my brother Leonardo Valgas dos Santos, for his lessons and for his courage.
Forgiving is a powerful thing. So I leave you with this to ponder about.
In Memory of my beloved brother whom is always watching over, Leonardo Leon Valgas dos Santos.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light
There are many articles on this crime and they are mostly in Portuguese. It was on TV constantly in our city when it happened http://ndonline.com.br/florianopolis/noticias/55188-assassinato-de-policial-rodoviario-em-2011-vai-a-julgamento-na-segunda-feira.html
“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.” – Rachel Naomi Remen
So what is healing? What does it mean to be healed? What are we constantly looking for and trying to fix?
I have experienced so many different healing technologies, and the more I discover the more I find everything is essentially the same, or trying to reach the same.
We are all trying to connect with the pure unconditional love, the creating force, the force that is right within ourselves but we have somehow forgotten is there. So we run around like headless chickens looking for the answer everywhere but within. Although it’s easier said than done…
To really look within, to really connect with your truth and the light of your infinite boundless soul can be very simple. Yes, believe me, it can. We humans have the great ability of complicating things and making our lives harder. If only we could truly believe in our own endless power, we would be able to see how easy it is to connect to our divinity and that we don’t have to go far to find it as we have it inside ourselves.
Accessing this power can be equally easy, but again the complexity of the human game gets in the way of the simplest of truths.
The point I’m making here is the following: yes, there are various ways which lead to the same end place of Love and Peace, but we don’t have to make it such a hard road for ourselves. We can BE the road and claim our divinity. We can look inside and connect with God; there is no other way of saying it. But yes, truly believing in this possibility is the grand part of allowing it to happen.
Totally and completely surrendering yourself to the power within you is the way to come back to your origins to go back to where you came from to be who you are meant to be, and to experience full abundance and joy, to play with life and of course, to connect with others.
Healing can help, that’s for sure. It can clear your inner eyes to the truth. It can guide you to the realisation that you are the Guru. And whatever you have been looking for externally, it’s not anywhere but within yourself.
Through Andrew’s hands, I had the opportunity to experience OFT healing, which is no more than connecting to the true Original Feeling: the feeling of coming back home, the home where we all came from.
During this experience, I was taken into a journey. A journey in which my emotions travelled through time and space. Old emotions and feelings that I’m very familiar with came up, then I was taken through the pain which accompanied those emotions. The tears were intense and overwhelming, the pain was very real, things I no longer remembered appeared and things I have never been able to forget, too.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
After each emotion that rises from the depths of your unique infinity, you surrender to the breath. Oh yes, the breath, the mechanic that keeps us alive, letting the air in all the way to every cell in your system. Expanding you into awareness and taking you to other dimensions.
And just like that, the healing does its magical work, from the inside out. It starts to smooth your gentle soul, bringing you Home, bringing you to connect with you, bringing you to God. Your body may start dissolving into blissfulness, you are no longer aware of where you are, nor who you are, because you have just crossed the bridge beyond the universe.
Coming back from that place is not easy, or is it us complicating it again? But once you are back, you bring the experience with you, and you know for a fact that you can go back home because you are home.
It’s funny how the pain shapes you. It creates this wall between you and connecting with others. But our destiny as human souls is to break them down with an open heart, a heart that maybe has been broken so many times, a heart that may be tired of pain but a heart that because of all its suffering became mighty, and now it’s really cracked open, ready to embrace and swallow life in its fullest. A heart that knows home is within, and that healing comes from Pure Love.
Let the light of love heal you. But know the place it comes from is right there, within you.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”– Buddha
Sometimes I wonder if everything I do is truly for me. The way I dress, the way I talk, the way I behave, down to the make-up I put on my face. Am I doing it for myself? Or am I doing it for others?
Being true to myself is very new territory for me. Not that I didn’t stand up for my own beliefs and things I am passionate about. I always have, but the new me, the me I’m just starting to get to know has a whole different way to deal with things. To feel situations and to listen to what my soul says then take action, that’s something I’m still getting used to.
The first step is to love and truly accept who you are and be fine with who you truly are. Good or bad, take it all and contemplate what makes you who you are; start investigating who the real YOU is. Not the you everyone thinks you are or wants you to be. But the one not even you know is there, waiting to come out and shine.
Woman are pushed around to look perfectly beautiful, to fit in the world’s beauty standards. They are judged immediately by the way the look and dress; taken advantage by the cosmetic industry which sells products toxic to skin, creating a vicious cycle of demand.
This inspiring video made me again re-think of how many times I’ve worried about the perception of the”me” others would have, and how many times I betrayed myself, or not even acknowledged my own wishes and truths.
Step into yourself, be the beautiful being you are. Let your light shine. You are perfect, you are amazing you are everything, you are the universe, you are God the creator.
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
In today’s climate of forward thinking, self-improvement seems to be a goal we all strive for; growth, change, becoming the most authentic and loving version of ourselves that we can be.
I’m sure it would take a lot of your stress away.
When we seek to be better, the energetic stamp we send out to the universe is that we are not whole. “I am broken. I need fixing. I’m not where I need to be and I am not what I should be.” Those thoughts and feelings are powerful. They are based in fear. They are based in lack.
This therefore becomes the reality that we create for ourselves. This not only makes sense metaphysically, but from a psychological perspective too. Thoughts become things. What we think we attract. So if we think we are lacking, then that is what we will experience.
But how do we stop this fear of lack?
We stop the desire to not have lack in the first place.
We do this by embracing the belief that the universe already provides us exactly what we need. If we are provided for, then we are not lacking.
Now truly accepting this belief is easier said than done and the concept is bandied around the spiritual community like no other. It does have a basis in truth however, and it is understanding why that is helpful.
That which we resist persists. So if we embrace our fears and emotions (our lacks) instead of ignoring them we can free ourselves. They then become our saving graces. It is only when we attempt to silence our internal chatter, that we bury these concerns.
Merely using positive affirmations that we are being provided for will not help to remove what we suppress. That which goes in, must come back out. By facing these fears and feeling these emotions from our past, we free the subconscious mind and therefore do not attract similar situations or people to resolve our issues. We break the cycle and no longer experience the same lessons but in different clothing.
When our subconscious mind doesn’t match the desires of our conscious mind, then we will not attract that which we desire. There is a reason for this. A very good reason.
We could say that it is our subconscious mind that connects to our Spirit. Our subconscious mind knows our fears and our desires. It is this subconscious mind that attracts the people and situations into our lives that we feel we do not want; the partner, the job, the life.
So what is the reason for this?
We actually want them. We need these experiences. We need these challenges. We need these people and these situations in order to get closer and closer to the truth of our Spirit.
Our subconscious mind is linked to our higher self. We may not always like that which we attract, but we attract it so that we can get to the point of consciously creating the reality that we desire to manifest. Attempting to consciously create when our subconscious mind is not in alignment will not work.
That’s why so many people do not attract that which they feel they desire; because deep down, they do not desire it. Deep down, their Spirit does not need it. Deep down, it is not in their pathway.
Our higher self knows exactly what it needs and it speaks to us through our subconscious. Therefore we are never lacking because we are always being guided to where we most need to go. Our growth is taken care of. We already have everything. We are already being shown the way. We are being provided for. The Universe is providing and that is because the Universe is within you.
The goal may be to get to a point of consciously creating and manifesting the reality of our dreams. But we reach this point when we are ready. When our subconscious mind is in alignment with our conscious mind and we truly desire to manifest that which we consciously desire.
Not because we feel we should. Should is not the moment. Should is not our truth. Should is not our present. Should is what creates the struggle.
So why struggle? Why fight your subconscious? Why not trust your own internal wisdom? When you want something go for it. When you don’t, know that this is your Spirit guiding you. Bask in your truth, regardless of what it is and take the stress out of your life.
You are exactly where you need to be. Nothing in your life is an accident. You are not an accident. There are no mistakes. There are no wrongs. Even your resistance is part of the process. We are simply spiritual beings being drawn to that which brings us back to our own magnificence and light.
Everything is Spirit and so everything is perfect.
That is why you are exactly where you need to be.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,
By Kyle Treslove
This article was taken from Gathering Of Minds. Original source is here
“The key to your universe is that one you can choose.” _ Frederick Carl Frieseke
What is your thing? That thing that makes you weak but also makes you strong, that thing that when it happens you don’t care about anything else?
That’s an easy answer: mine is Love.
Love is the power that moves me. It stops everything around me.
Love for life, Love for others, Love for myself.
Love is the answer to all my questions.
How so? Well, every unwanted feeling comes from the lack of love for something, any discomfort comes from the inability to love something and fully understand it.
Therefore, the contrary is imperative: Love is the force that makes everything alive. When Love is present, even the mundane transmute into magical, the ordinary is commanded to no longer be, and every moment becomes uniquely spectacular.
But, how can this be achieved? To live in Love?
“Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.”- Oliver Wendell Holmes
I’m no expert. I’m just starting to immerse myself into this unknown divinity. Letting go of pre conceptions and embracing love as a way of being. I’m very far from mastering it. What I do know is that awareness plays a key role in this process.
Allow yourself to identify when a lack of love is present, and immediately rise the self-questioning. Why do I dislike this? What is my resistance to this situation? Why is fear present?
Equally important is to acknowledge that the situation will keep presenting itself until you have dealt with its impact in you/self.
Recently I have heard from people from all over the planet who say that relationships are here so we can learn. Everyone that’s part of our lives is here to teach us. To reject or to run is only going to make this situation repeat itself and return. If you have a problematic relationship, deciding to walk away from it will only benefit you in the short term; as you can be sure that the universe will bring someone else into your life or a similar situation so you can break old patterns.
Once you have mastered this inner battle, there will no longer be the need to repeat these situations, as you will then be presented with new ones; which will be part of your new development.
People have different ways to grow. Some may use different keys, such as forgiveness, compassion, righteousness to name but a few. In my case I’ve chosen love, which in my opinion is what is behind any great key. Unconditional loving is the most powerful thing I have come across, and in my understanding it is behind everything, because it is the source of everything.
Have you stopped to contemplate this? What is your key? Your thing? The thing that makes you?
Maybe it is time to start unlocking the true power within yourself.
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
“Ultimate freedom has nothing to do with your life circumstances – it is the freedom of allowing the self to dissolve into the waves of the ocean. It is the freedom that is born through one’s absolute trust in life.” Richard Rudd
Following on from the DNA activation after the Gene Keys experience, I had the immense pleasure of meeting Andy. Funny how, without knowing why, you can meet someone and feel so connected to them, and start referring to them in an intimate way.
After watching Richard talking about Gene Keys for the first time on Saturday 14th of March, I was very touched by the information. I was also very happy to know there are more people who know and experience the energy downloads and upgrades in the human body.
After the talk, I was very excited about this new discovery and ready to dive into the DNA activation process; that’s when I first met Andy. I remember very well the feeling it created in my energetic field. A feeling of connection, a deep heart connection. I started to talk to him about the talk and how amazed I was by it, and the more we talked the more my heart started to expand. His words have this effect on you; they sink into your being. Why? Because they are full of kindness and deep inner truth.
It didn’t take long until my eyes started watering. I didn’t know what was happening there and then, but I knew it was pure magic.
Andy has this energy and the only way to explain it is to watch and hear from him in his interview:
I feel very blessed for having the chance to interview him. Don’t get me wrong, I feel blessed for everyone I have interviewed; every human being is very unique and wonderful. I truly think we are all the same, no one is better than anyone.
It is, though, very inspiring when you meet someone like Andrew, someone in this frequency shining his truth and speaking from the heart..
The very first thing that amazed me about his way of operating was the fact he is so switched on to everyone’s needs, empathising with their feelings. He has a way of acknowledging what you are saying and really listening; making sure his reply comforts you. It’s such a natural thing for him to behave in this way – I guess it’s part of his unconscious Gene keys characteristics.
Another great thing I discovered by meeting Andrew is OFT – Original Feeling Touch; which is a whole new subject, and I’ll be sure to write about it once I experience it. So far, I can say what I read about it: “OFT is a journey of discovery of unfolding what is inside of us. OFT is a reminder of what you have always known deep down in your being. In fact, OFT is Touching the Essence of You”.
I’m very interested in finding out more about this practice. Andrew Fratwell is a worldwide specialist in OFT.
To get in touch with Andrew, please visit his websites, only if you dare to discover the true magic inside yourself 😉
“The sacred is honouring the unknown, we are obsessed these days with knowing and it’s the opposite, it’s about not knowing the more you embrace not knowing the more magical you life becomes”_ Andrew Fretwell
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
So, I have a confession to make: I still eat junk food. Yes, I stopped drinking, I meditate every day, and I try to be mindful and have awareness. When it comes to food, though, I’m still not in the process of feeding my body with the best it requires.
Well, maybe I am. I’ve always tried to listen to my body and went for the nourishment that I thought I needed. But it’s no easy task letting go of some unhealthy habits and addictions that reflect emotional issues when it comes to food.
I have been reluctant to look into my eating habits and discover a link between those and my physical and spiritual health; although I have taken some detox diets in the past and experienced the countless benefits of it. It has been a problem of mine to embrace more mindful eating habits.
Speaking with Stacy has surely made me acknowledge that it might be time to look into what feeds the soul.
Feeding your soul; that’s certainly a very interesting topic, so let’s start with getting to know about Stacy and her Journey. Please click on the link below to find out more.
As discussed in the interview, everything is an illusion and nothing is real. But at the same time, we are still attached to the illusion and the collective consciousness behind it that inevitably brings a set of beliefs to it. Unfortunately, what we feed ourselves does have an impact on our body – good or bad – and that’s when a specialist like Stacy comes into action.
Stacy says “Everyone has a different need, and all dietary requirements vary from person to person. What may be good for me may not be good for you.”
Our uniqueness as nature’s creations is also reflected in how we relate to food and how it affects us.
I’m still very new to the art of feeding the soul. I’m also no expert on all of the impact that processed food has on our body, and how that relates to ones spiritual wellbeing. I do have my superfood regime, which includes a glass of water with half a lemon mixed with Spirulina and Chrorella. I have that first thing in the morning, every day. I thought it was a very good commitment; but maybe it is time to look into food from a different perspective.
It’s really best to hear from Stacy more on the subject itself.
After so much to consider, I have a question for myself which you may share. Am I ready to start feeding my soul? There is one way to find out…. Getting right into it.
If if wish to get in touch with Stacy Lynn Floyd ,Certified Holistic Health C oach, visit www.stacylynnfloyd.com
Thanks for reading ,
Love and Light,
“Love doesn’t need reason. It speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart.” _ Deepak Chopra
In Conflict, that’s how we live most of the time.
Not with anyone else, but with ourselves. In fact, the only reason we have conflicts with others is because we first have an internal aspect of ourselves that we do not accept.
So, we grow into fighting with our own existence. We fight against time, every minute we live is a minute taken away from our life. Right? We are accustomed to the idea that one day “this life” as we know it will be over and it will no longer exist. So what is the point?
Since I was a little girl, I have had this crazy urge to know why we are here. If we are gonna die.. What is the point? Okay, if we are spirits.. souls.. why are we here? Where did we come from? How was the universe created? Is there a God? Where is he/she?
What is the point? Where do we go? What are we?
So many questions…
Well, there was a point I just pretended they were no longer there. I did like everyone else I knew and got on with my life – better not to think of such grand life mysteries.
Luckily for me, I chose a very intense way of learning more about the absolute truths of infinity.. My way was, and still is, LOVE.
I decided love was to show me the way and guide me into light itself (I’m only aware of my choice at present.. it wasn’t so clear in the past).
Enough with the philosophy talk.. let me try and get practical here .. If you read one of my previous articles and discovered my Valentine’s day odyssey, you will be familiar with my heart having a voice of its own and becoming an actual moving power.
So I had some sort of revelation about love, how it actually works when it comes from the heart, and how it liberates your soul..
See, I have been in love so many times.. and every time I had a different lesson to learn, many times I learnt nothing , many times it was just pain (and in those times pain was the teacher).
However, this time pure unconditional attachment-free love is the master and professor of my life learning experiences.
Let’s rewind.. to a week ago.
Tuesday evening, 24th of February, I was on my way to meet this person.. The one who triggered this nuclear chain of events.
Life has this way of teaching and showing us things, even when we assume we have it all figured out, it will show us another aspect that we didn’t quite know was there, or was even possible.
I’m a rather stubborn person. I used to be terrible, now I’m just stubborn (I’m sure along my path I’ll have much to learn about this particular subject).
When I’m convinced a person no longer deserves my love and attention, I completely move on and don’t look back, not even if a part of me says it might be a mistake. Now, I know this reaction is led by fear and Ego, trying to protect my feelings.
The truth is that if you have truly moved on, there is no need to avoid, run or ignore an ex, because they will no longer affect you. If you had to take measures to remove this person from your life and away from you, it’s because they still have some power over you and maybe you haven’t learned what you were supposed to.
… I’m making a point there I promise …
The fact is this: I honestly thought this guy was on his way out of my life and this door was just about to be closed forever.. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.. no friendship or any kind of contact .. He has already moved on and there is no point in keeping in contact.
I was so very sure and very happy to say goodbye once and for all, wish him all the best and tell him how much I wish him well. So I can be totally open to new people in my heart.
So I’m on my way to meet Mr Nuclear (having in mind it would be a quick one), collect my favourite book “Awareness” by Anthony De Mello – which I bet he didn’t even open in the last 3 months – and say goodbye.
So, he says “ Hey, my meeting has been cancelled. Do you have plans? Should we have dinner?”
I wasn’t sure what to say, as I didn’t want to spend much time with him. It was a bit pointless, I thought..
But being polite and all, I told myself “surely it won’t kill me”, plus I have some things I would like to tell him..
We ended up at Vinoteca in Farringdon. If you are a Londoner, you might know the place. It has a rather cosy atmosphere – but this is far away from the point.
As we sat facing each other …. Discussing how things ended, it was hard to hear him as I was trying to focus and not let my tears come out … The whole event was very civilised, but there was something else, a feeling I’m still learning about … The feeling of doing exactly what I was meant to be doing according to my destiny and soul…
I went on and told him how much I have been through in my spiritual journey since I had met him, so many doors have been opened and how happy I am. In fact, I have never been happier and so sure of who I am and what my life purpose is.
I found my soul mission, and guess what, that’s one of the reasons you are able to read this article … because I now know what my soul desires, and this is only a small part of how I wish to communicate with the world.
He opened so many doors… I was trying to explain to him about karmic contracts and this feeling of knowing him from before incarnating on Earth. The look on his face always amuses me… that “WHAT are you talking about?!” expression…
Does it mean HE Is The One? We are meant to be together? I have no idea what so ever…
I haven’t even had the chance to get to know him well in this life … (I want to, but only time will tell if I will). Would that be as friends or in a romantic way? Again, I have no idea!
The point is, it doesn’t matter … I love him for what he has done, I love him because I remember our agreement made before incarnating in this life … I love him with no reason for loving him, even though he has one thousand faults as well as his one thousand qualities. It is what it is. We both felt this ridiculous familiarity from the first day we met. It is something one can’t explain; it has to be experienced.
I love him beyond this life and I want him to be happy, with me or not, it really doesn’t matter.
I guess this is what happens when you surrender yourself to love. You set whom you love free, so you can experience Freedom itself.
“I have no fear of losing you, for you aren’t an object of my property, or anyone else’s. I love you as you are, without attachment, without fears, without conditions, without egoism, trying not to absorb you. I love you freely because I love your freedom, as well as mine” – Anthony De Mello
Your Soul grows into light and awe. You are in Love with Love itself. Your happiness doesn’t depend on the person, it never did, this love makes everything clear and bright and you find yourself within it.
On that Tuesday evening, I had another magical experience, not because of him, but because once again I was fully in my path feeling and following my truth wearing no masks and talking and flowing from my heart (if he is reading this he is surely saying, well he is the reason and the trigger of it all – it may be).
It seems like life still has some more lessons on this matter installed for me. What they may be, I don’t know, but I will be sure to share them all with you.
He said to me “Now What? It doesn’t feel like I’ll never see you again.. Don’t be a stranger, stay in touch”.
I still don’t know if he really meant it or not, or if I will actually even see him again..
As we walked out of the restaurant, we laughed about the whole thing, he said no one had ever written about him before.
I went to bed that night in peace, yet I kept waking up early in the morning and his face kept appearing in my dreams and morning meditation. I looked at the clock, it was 6:00 am, and I had that feeling.. that he was also going through the same sleep disturbance…
I texted him later that day and asked, already knowing the answer.. “Were you awake early this morning? On and off around 6:00 am?”
He said: “Yes”..
He doesn’t believe in these things.. But I know, I know what they mean.
I’m no longer in conflict, I’ve surrendered to it , I’ve surrendered to love.
“Loneliness cannot create love, it creates need. Love is not a need.Then what is love? Love is luxury. It comes out of aloneness, when you are tremendously alone and happy and joyous and celebrating, and great energy goes on storing in you. You don’t need anybody. In that moment the energy is so much, You would like it to be shared. Then you give, you give because you have so much, you give without asking anything in return – that is love …When the cloud is full of rain, it showers, and when the flower is full of fragrance, it releases its fragrance to the winds. Unaddressed, the fragrance is released. And the flower does not wait to ask “What is coming back to me in return?” The flower is happy that the winds have been kind enough to relieve him of a burden.” –OSHO
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
“Wherever you go ,go with your heart”_ Confucius
Silly Heart, Frenetic Heart, Wise Heart.
Right, let’s do this. Probably not the easiest thing I have ever written about, but it certainly has to be expressed. I’m not even quite sure how to go about this experience; let’s say I’m just reporting it.
It was February 14th 2015; I was on my way home, looking forward to writing, and editing the videos and pictures of our Valentine’s Day filming, when I got this Facebook notification that totally messed up my evening.
It was pretty much like being at the edge of a cliff and left with no other option but to jump.
Maybe you need to know a little on the background situation here…
See, I really believe that the world is in need of love, and people willing to open their hearts to it.
Earlier that Valentine’s Day we were filming near Piccadilly Circus. Our task was to ask people to send love messages to their loved ones or to the world. The message with the best social media results was to receive an Amazon voucher as a prize.
Being such a Love missionary, I was a bit let down and disappointed by the fact that a lot of people didn’t want to send their love to the ones that matter in their life. Not even to friends or family, they were more interested in taking pictures with our massive heart balloon props. In fact, some wanted to pay to take a picture with the prop, but would refuse to send a small message of love on Valentine’s Day.
Here is the prop so you know what I’m talking about: (cute prop, I know).
Okay, fair enough, people are afraid of expressing themselves – afraid of exposure. I just thought it would have been much easier to find people interested in sharing love on Valentine’s Day. At the end, we found some brave ones that were able to do it. Their videos are on our YouTube channel:
It sure got me thinking …
If I’m putting all this effort into getting people to open up their hearts and if they are refusing to do so, something must be wrong with my vibration. If the law of attraction is correct, and like attracts like… Right?
So, what was really happening inside myself? Why was I reflecting/manifesting an unsatisfactory result?
Back to the Facebook alert (right I’m doing this – courage).
So, my plans were to stay home or maybe meet some of my friends in Central London. I was quite happy to stay in and focus on writing and editing the videos for the website launch of the Power Within Us etc. (it’s a project I’m running).
But when I saw on my notifications that the guy I have been “in Love” with for the past 3 months was nearby, things took a sudden turn of events…
Something rather strange happened.
My heart went totally crazy, it started vibrating, beating so fast and strong it was absolutely overwhelming.
I could hear its voice loud and clear saying, “This is it! He is nearby, let’s go and see him. It’s Valentine’s Day, we must go and take a chance.”
See … I immediately panicked! I was pacing up and down my flat trying to calm myself down, I was alone at home and had to take full consideration of my heart’s request and make the right decision.
My first thoughts were:
“Wait a second! We are no longer dating, you haven’t seen him in a month, things didn’t end well; and not only that, you already have a set date to catch you with him this coming week, there is no need to stalk the poor guy and act like a crazy person – you might freak him out even more. After all, he already stated he is no longer interested in you.“
Reason was speaking now, and I was letting my mind analyse every possible outcome and try to predict losses and the impact of my actions.
But once again my heart spoke:
“How pathetic of you Sabrina, preaching to the world that people should open their hearts and declare their love and feelings to others when you can’t even get past your mind and follow what I’m telling you to do.”
And BOOM! Something clicked! I wasn’t connected to my heart.
You know those moments, right? When life rips off the blinkers?!
It was like a big slap in the face. Wake up, Wake up, it’s time to make the dream come alive. It’s time to live fully, to listen and follow your heart with no questioning, with no doubts!
Ohhh dear, it was so hard to see it. I was ignoring my feelings and needs, making all sorts of excuses in my mind to why I should not follow my heart and go after what I wanted.
I thought I was losing the plot for a second. I had to sit down and ask again, try to connect to my inner truth (so called higher-self), you know.. Make the right decision..
So the question popped into my head, right from my soul:
“What is the only true thing stopping you from following your heart and not taking a chance to meet this person you truly want to be with?”
And here is the full honest answer: “FEAR!” Fear of rejection, fear of not having my feelings corresponded to, fear of been made fun of, or for acting in a way others would not understand.
Okay, so after this inner chat, there was only one thing to do.
Fear was the only real reason why I would not follow what my heart was demanding me to do. So it was time to be brave and to stop being such a hypocrite.
It’s very easy to carry a massive flag with spirituality written on it, go around and preach:
“Fear is the enemy, love is the answer to everything.”
Then go and launch a project with the intention to change the world into a more open hearted place. But when it comes to you fully acknowledging and being aware of what is happening with your feelings and emotions. When it comes into your personal life and decisions it is not so easy to let go of the fear and do what you preach!
Not this time.
No No, Not this time!
I told my mind to f*ck off (sorry about the language). I said out loud: Fear is not controlling me. It’s my choice, it’s my life, and I’m taking over. And I screamed – AHHHHH!
“I’m listening to you heart, for the first time, I’m not gonna let any doubt, any question or any fear get in the way. I’m going after what you asked me to do and see what happens.”
So, I got ready and marched in my truth. My heart beating so fast, I felt like a hummingbird, weird comparison I know.. I’m weird. I don’t care, that’s what makes me who I am, my full weirdness.
I was so scared and I had no plan, I just went for it. I didn’t know what I was going to say, I didn’t even know if he was still going to be there or if he had gone to another place.
What about if he was with someone else? No no, it did not matter… I was following my heart.
See, back in the day, that would have been a perfect time to have a big double vodka something, but I’m not drinking (I’m on detox) – exactly ! Haaaaarrdddd work!
As I walked in, with no plan and not knowing what was going to happen, I started to feel this inner bliss, I no longer cared for the outcome. I was so happy to be listening to my heart that whatever happened was not longer the point.
See, for once, I got what the enlightened say.. Happiness is in the path .. That’s what it means. It is the process, not the result .
It is to fully embrace your soul desires with no fear.
While I’m at the bar, looking at him from a distance, I didn’t know what to expect. I knew I had to say hi and that’s as far as what my heart had told me to do.
When he came by to talk to me, I could feel my whole body vibrating, what an amazing feeling.
It was so weird to hear his voice from the place I just came from, everything was crystal clear, pure and so bright. He was completely oblivious to what was happening to me in that moment, he had no idea whatsoever what all that meant to me, and how it was setting my heart and soul free.
What I felt was something absolutely new. It wasn’t bad or good. It was stillness bathed in the purity of the soul’s voice.
I didn’t know what was next, I had never taken a fully heart centred action like this before, my Ego has always been en-charge, this time there was no Ego, only love. Unconditional heart energy leading the whole process.
I wish he knew all the complexity that was going on in my universe, and how internal doors were being unlocked.
When he kissed me and touched me, it felt amazing, but again fear and mind started to rationalise everything that was happening. I was once again afraid of the results and what could happen. Nonetheless, I was living in the moment, so I was going to follow my feelings.
After we kissed we agreed to leave together, but just like the wind and fluidity of life, things changed. After a few minutes, something made him change his mind and regret his actions.. Was that a reflection of my second of fear and doubt? Or was it to do with his fear and his doubts? Who knows..
It was all too much for me to deal with. My heart was so wide open it was hard to breathe.
In any case, after saying goodbye and going separate ways, I left with this amazing bliss.
Yes, maybe the outcome was not what I was expecting or maybe I had no expectations.
It was all such a rush of new pure emotions that it was hard to understand what my feelings were.
Sure, it was amazing to have kissed him on Valentine’s day, after not having seen or spoken to him in weeks.. And even when he said he couldn’t be with me it hurt, but everything was so… REAL.
The whole experience was truly amazing.
I clearly remember walking home and my heart was vibrating in this new frequency.
Ever since February 14th, my heart has been cracked open. I can no longer ignore its voice.
All I can do is to be thankful for finally understanding what it means and how it feels to be open hearted and flow from your heart.
You see, when you don’t live fully heartedly, it is as if you have been sipping life from a cup.. Taking small little sips and never fully tasting the flavour. You have only glimpses of the taste.
When you make the leap and have the courage to let go of everything else and follow your dreams, listening to your heart’s truth, you become life itself, you drawn in its flavour, connecting with the source. Everything is magical and so alive.
All I can say is that I wish you nothing less.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” –Helen Keller
People have no idea how absolutely utterly completely undeniably amazing is to do something from your heart, something pure, something complete, that is your truth.
When you walk on your truth standing high and tall with your arms open and you listen to your heart without questioning, without judging, without letting anything else come between you and your heart and what you truly believe in –It’s just unbelievably amazing, there are no words, it’s just magical.
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,