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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” _Rumi
“We are only as good as our worst, and only as perfect as our imperfections” _ Emina Gaspar Vrana.
So I ask myself what does it mean to be human?
And the answer I get is :facing your limitations, looking deep within yourself.
When I was a little girl I never knew I had such dark side inside of myself. Or maybe back then I didn’t yet had it, and this darkness grew bigger as a way to protect myself from all the pain and trauma I went through? Or maybe this is just an excuse for something that is already part of me, part of my karma part of my human life.
Today I wanted to talk about Self-Harming.
This crazy self-aggression, this anger that comes from deep down within. This madness that wants to attack others and yourself.
What is this?
Where does it come from? How is it even possible that this is inside of me, when all I want is to be good, is to show all my love, all my light, all my compassion, all my willingness to connect with others in the most beautiful way.
Where does this darkness comes from?
Why is it there? – I ask God.
What good is it for?
How can I begin to understand it?
Today after 10 years of being “clean” I face myself again. I face my biggest limitation, my biggest fear, the fear of not being in control of my darkness.
Self-harming is a theme not many people talk about, is such an ugly thing, everyone just wants to hide and brush it off. Especially the ones who suffer from it. Just like domestic violence and physical aggression. Yet some very beautiful souls suffer from such ailment.
I never knew how many of my beautiful friends had gone through such issue until recently. But I’m not talking about any of them , I’m here to talk about myself.
About my ugliness, about my flaws about my mistakes.
To tear down my ego into a millions pieces.
I’m no longer afraid to hide it from anyone , to show what is inside myself.
Yes I have this side, when I’m lost it can get really bad, I can end up hurting myself physically so the pain my heart is feeling, the noise in my head , the confusion, can finally stop.
It’s such a chaos to let this side of me out, because deep down all I really want is to be held, to be heard, to be loved, to be accepted. and instead I start to self-sabotage and to lose myself.
The funny thing is after all this self-work, after helping so many people to find their light, after being a so called “healer” , a “teacher” , I too have to face my limitations.
But this time there is no space to hide, not even from the ones I love the most.
Total and true transparency! Yes, this is part of me.
Can I still love myself knowing this part of me is still alive inside of me?
Yes, I can.
Can I accept after all this self-work I still face moments where I don’t know what to do? Where I need help, where I need to confront all my beliefs? All my faith?
I simply have to surrender.
Surrender to God, and understand I’m still so small. That I’m still learning.
Even though I’m doing my best in life I have to accept as much as I might try to hide from everyone this issue is there. I have to be strong for myself to stand there for me and to love myself through it.
To also understand that I’m worthy of love, that there are people who will stand by my side no matter what, that there are people who will not run way from my darkness. They will see through it. They will have compassion and strength to hold my hand through it, and for that I’m forever grateful, because in this life there will be beautiful souls that will stand in the darkness with you until you can find your way back into light.
But the lesson here is to really surrender to give it all to God, to see I don’t want to hold on to this part of myself. To pray so vehemently to God and to bend on my knees and bowl my head asking for forgiveness, asking God to take this anger, take this pain, take this darkness away from me. To understand I don’t know what to do with it, that I don’t want to hold on to it. That I have to be so humble and so dedicated to my self-acceptance, that I still have so much to know, so much to give up.
So please God take it, take my heart, guide me through your grace I surrender to you. I am yours take my darkness and please let me free from it, because I’m so tired of hurting myself and hurting the ones I love.
So if you suffer from this problem. I here confide to you.
You can do this! Surrender, let go. You are not alone. Loads of people struggle with their darkness, be brave to see through it. Be brave to understand you are worthy of love, worthy of acceptance, and that there are people strong enough to stay by your side. To love you no matter what.
As humans our greatest gift is love, compassion and humility. To stand together to give each other strength to find our way.
Be courageous, all the answers are within yourself. All the love is within yourself. All the light is also there.
Be wise enough to see this is just a movie. That deep down, you are consciousness expressing itself and all this make believe theatre and drama of life isn’t even real.
Your true nature is Love, and you can always find your way back to yourself.
Thanks for reading.
If you have questions and comments feel free to ask. I haven’t figured it out how to deal with this myself , but together we are stronger. So ask away and I will do my best to share all I have learned about it.
Love and Light,
“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi,
I often wonder what keeps people together.
What is the damn bond … the magical invisible string that ties one to another?
I also used to think doing things in the same way was the issue keeping me from actually understanding more about love and emotional satisfaction.
But wait, since I have changed everything, even myself, I have done everything different … and tried and tested with all sorts of different situations.
Still I’m yet to experience, in a flash, what I know to be true love in my heart.
But those are even deeper topics for discussion.
Right now I’m just contemplating this question:
So what keeps the bond?
Is it something that can be controlled or is it totally random? Or even worse .. is it meant to be with the one person that is meant for you?
That’s rather unfair to everyone else … if you think there is only this one person who is a match to you …. Amongst 7 billion others …
You are then bound to find each other, and vague in search of this almost impossible quest … But isn’t this the biggest lie?
First of all let’s take a look at love .. and what love is .. I’m talking about true unconditional love; not falling in love with the things about the person .. but falling in love with the energy behind that identity… If so… Isn’t that energy within everyone?
Because if we are one, we are all the same energy being played over and over by different theatrical characters. But when you strip away identity, what is left is the immutable .. What is left is raw, never changing, wholesome energy. Its source. The universe itself.
So… If we are falling in love, the least important thing is the person, the personality … I was happy to hear from Esther Hicks in one of her talks “ The person is irrelevant when you are in love”. Maybe it’s because when love comes it takes you so abruptly and strongly that you better have someone to become the object of your loving, or for you to use it as an excuse to connect to the energy.
I have done that before … a few times now .. Loved so deeply and used the identity of certain people to increase my connection to source, to go right up all the way to heaven and bathe in the love for everything, for everyone ….
Aw, that feeling of aliveness never compares to anything. It is being in love with God personified in one identity where you can focus upon … and the devotion that comes with it … Indescribable .. devotion not to the person ..but to the energy… Burning anything inside your heart, making it so pure you become a child again in awe with every moment .. every minute.
However, back to my question… In the realm of physical, and togetherness; in the realm of flesh and bone … I’m yet to share this unstoppable force with someone that can surrender to it.
Or even to make love with one physical body and remain together .. bound by that string…
I’m not talking about sex here. Those are very different things. I’m talking about energy … about getting absolutely lost in each other and not even knowing where one begins and the other ends.. I’m talking about true connection, true love … And I’m yet concerned that maybe what I believe to be true might be just a myth of my own imagination. That this kind of connection is not possible, that humanity might not yet be ready for it.
Or maybe I am just so damned blessed and cursed, all at once for knowing this kind of thing exists, but this might be a secret to mankind; and if there are a few out there that might begin to grasp what I am really talking about … It would be nice to know they do exist.
Sacred sex, where love is the note guiding each one into the truth of each other… This is no joke, it is a ceremonial thing. That’s how man and woman should connect, falling in love with God inside each other’s eyes …. Falling in love with life itself, contained in each other’s body. A touch so soft that could melt away any pain, any fear..
And yet where is the glue? … That brings those 2 people together to be fearless to experience the only thing worth living for?
Thanks for reading,
“Isn’t it time to turn your heart into a temple of fire?”_ Rumi
Tic tock, I look at the clock and guess what! I’m still alive. This has been my current trend of thought since watching the Sadhguru’s video explaining that death will come very naturally to everyone on this planet. Funny observation as too many of us humans spend their lives practicing being dead, stiff like corpses … lacking gratitude and awareness for the gift of being alive.
So what have you been doing? Are you cultivating this aliveness within yourself? Or are you choosing to march around closing your eyes to life.
I for one am having an overload of delightfulness, extreme curiosity for all the colors of life and everything it keeps bringing me. It is sometimes a challenge to tame my thirst for savouring everything and everyone all at once. I am afraid I might swallow the world and just explode into particles of desire. Or maybe, I’ll turn again into Kali , running around cutting demons’ heads off. In the hopes Shiva might come at my aid to control all this madness, all this energy. I’m running on kundalini , prana , life force and so is everyone on the planet – except I’m very aware of it, of life playing through my bones.
My heart is burning, it’s on fire, looking for more than it has ever had. Anything or anyone that does not share the likes of this intensity is rapidly torn apart from it. The fire is too great, I can barely control my focus. Everything is wanted, needed invited…
I want it all and I want it now, chaos, chaos, chaos …. Delightful madness of chaos and sincere abrupt explosions of emotions.
The dancing of life has become rather fast… The drumming is so loud my body follows it without questioning. My mind can barely keep up with the strength of my thirst. Poor mind, trying to help .. but nothing is to be done when the fire has taken over…
What to do? If not observing this circus… Looking for moments of divine clarity and jumping into them. Following the impulses of life as they command my temple of Self. Aware of the dance, but way too busy dancing to pretend I can control my moves.
Run through me fire of consciousness, take me with you, I’m tired of fighting the rhythm…
Because I know this is momentary. Because I know just as this fire burns strong …I know soon, there will be only stillness.
In the center of the tornado… there, I will stand still in my own Self-awareness. The weather is part of me, but not all of who I am.
So we dance in the fire. For now.
Flaming heart of aliveness, I salute you with all my love.
“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames” _ Rumi
Thank you for Reading.
Love and Light,
A friend once brought up a question, an observation, about the fact that only a full self-realized being could truly love. That normal people are often not capable of truly loving. This observation stayed with me for a while. I had to go deep within myself to fully understand my own perspective about this.
And to be happy to fully disagree.
See, love is the very thing that permeates the all. Therefore, by definition we are that. We are this energy, and this divine essence is what brings us into being, so every single one of us, deep down, in our essence, knows what love truly is.
We might be here in this body afraid of finding out who we truly are because that threatens our independence, we are afraid of our own light. However, love is present in every choice we make, even the ones that appear to be led by negative frequencies such as fear.
If we dig deep in every action we will see love is the motive, because one might be coming from the illusion of not having love, not feeling the flow of love, or because one is open, willing to share this energy with the world in every single aspect of their lives.
The point is, every day there are non-realized beings acting from that place. Because miracles are everywhere, that’s a fact. In the way you smile, in a deep breath you take, in a chance you take to change your life, in a simple act of kindness, in the love of a parent, in a caring friend, anything that resonates with that frequency is that frequency even when we don’t realize the power of it, even when we fail to see it daily… We are all acting in sync with God, aware or not, we are part of the making. And here we are playing a part in the illusion. It is very hard to see from one single perspective that true love is reflected in every single particle of life.
Perhaps a fully realized being would be able to see that everywhere. But perhaps a fully realized being would also know how little gestures, little miracles, powered by true crystalline love are present in every day of our lives, is the very fuel that keeps this reality into motion.
I might be totally out of my head but I’m pretty sure that when God looks at us all it sees is love. Even when we are in anger, in pain or fear. Why do we insist in making such distinction between ourselves when are all the same force? Why do we chase so much to be something we already are? Just so we can be once again one with love, one with God. But if there is no such separation, just the perception of it, we can begin to have the awareness about our truth and be able to observe true love in every single being.
This is what I choose to believe in. This is what I choose as my truth.
To be able to see that through any suffering, to be able to see love in all circumstances, to believe in the power of love and to surrender to it daily.
Thanks for reading.
Love and Light,
Here is a thought led by heart.
Nature is perfection. God, as the great creator of all things has created the human experience. We belong to many worlds at once and in this experience we can discover and remember who we are in our totality. By the act of finding Truth in the Love that moves all things in nature and in the different worlds we are linked to.
Mind, ego, personality are things that enable this experience. They are precious gifts given by the Great Creator, just so we can have the joy of finding our Truth in the Love that we are. Instead of negating any part of our totality, inviting one to shower any aspects of separation with love might lead you to see how beautiful your mind, given to you by God, is. Because it allows you to create the dream you are living right now and to experience this life in the way it is. Your ego too has an important service to you, without it you would be still merged into the cosmic soup, but when you shower the ego with the pure love of light, given to you by God to find out how perfect you are, the ego loses its negative aspects and becomes another important and special note in the perfect symphony of creation that is you.
It’s your personality that carries the story of you, and the traits you will find within yourself so you can discover the joy of being way more than your identity. Then you can start remembering your other identities. The collective of identities you have been in the past lives you lived that make part of your cosmic story. Then you can find out the collective of souls you make part of beyond those identities.. You can discover different aspects of yourself.. in different dimensions, in different worlds, you can become more of your own totality and discover more of your truth.
You may also go beyond all that and discover your Nothingness and your Real Truth.
So from that place although thoughts, feelings, forms, time, space or identity might not exist..
From that place, you will see the perfection of the All of Creation.
There will be no need to fight the ego or condemn the mind.
So why not practice that Now?
Be the love you are in all aspects of your life if you are going to spend time debating about those things or putting your energy into a spiritual path.
Practice the act of being Truth, and simply Be Love.
No more rejection, no more. Because all is perfect. Because all is well.
Be Aware of who You Truly Are.
Thanks for Reading,
Love and Light.
In recent days/weeks/months many of us have been experiencing tremendous transformation, growth and expansion in so many ways and on many levels. Generally, this is what the last couple of years and the next few are all about, yet from a linear time perspective, it feels like the energies have been building up momentum for something greater, something we are all participants of, and it involves every single atom in the world. It’s not one single moment in time as we know it that changes everything, it’s a series of moments during which we establish strong foundations for the “new earth” to be experienced in much more tangible ways than it has been until now. All roads lead to that, even though at times it might seem like the opposite. The heart sees with great clarity, where the wounded mind can’t reach.
But for now, let’s stick to our current energy dyanmics. On the 20th of June, we have a full moon in Sagittarius and the Summer Solstice altogether. This great astrological combination, synergised with our own individual gateways holds a huge potential for transformation and we are being presented with an opportunity make revolutionary quantum leaps individually and collectively.
Dates are not important. This cosmic orchestration does not work in the time structure we have created. We use dates as reference points, but what’s truly important as we move through all these cosmic events is our state of being, where we are in our journey, the receptiveness and openness we have, the choices we make and our willingness and dedication to stepping deeper and deeper into our pure authentic nature as humans. One way or another, every single atom is being affected in the most beneficial ways by the incoming releases of higher vibrational energy. No stone is being left unturned. The energy of the Solstice and the full moon will continue to be present in our fields in the weeks to come, supporting us in releasing that which no longer serves us from the deepest levels.
This will be experienced uniquely by each individual, but the main theme is “rewriting” all our past experiences, wipe the slate clean and all the residual we might hold from the past, while simultaneously creating the space within and without for experiences that encompass more of who are truly are and where we are in our journey. Transmutation.
We can’t create that if our current state and energy fields are being hindered by old density/residual. Density sneaked into many areas of our lives, as we allowed it. The old matrix our world has been built upon for the last thousands of years has gotten more complex in time, but now a new one has been and is being put in place. We have been revealed and constantly reminded of the ways we can outgrow the old matrix/the illusion throughout time. Yet, we are being presented with choices. There always was and there always is one. The gate is wide open, yet the choice is ours to either enter or play a little more in the old. The way “out” of the old is through. Facing fear/s. Unifying all we are as humans and growing and maturing through it. Fear was/is a great teacher, yet the answer and key to it all truly is love.
There are a multitude of facets of ascension and during this time, our focus will turn towards the ones where growth is most required. In our outer reality, some might find themselves more focused on their purpose, “work,”shifting directions, expanding into that area, while others will focus more on the experience of relationships, creating partnerships that benefit all one way or another, others will choose to cocoon, to spend more time in their personal “cave”with the mere purpose of connecting deeper within themselves, with their core and bringing forth that essence into their beingness in the now. These outer reflections/creations are always being created in such a wondrous way that benefits us and our growth best.
All facets are beautifully inter-connected, yet at given times more of our focus might be given to a specific facet that requires expansion.
The full moon in Saggitarius will give us the boost we need to move forward into the next phases of our evolution with joy, excitement and a childlike playfulness. Often times, we get too serious and pragmatic in our journeys that we forget we are here to enjoy every single moment of our waking times. We are here to explore the many enriching experiences life on Earth provides us with and play, play in creation. If we find ourselves seemingly disconnected from the frequency and state of joy, we have to stop, take a step back and connect to the inner child aspect that is in all of us. Often times, that is perceived as running away from responsibility and to escape their reality. That is not the intended purpose. To connect with our inner child in a mature way, simply means adopting a playful attitude towards our experiences and bringing forth that innocent pure love, joy, passion, and playfulness in whatever we do and wherever we are. Reflect on this question: what is the meaning of living life on Earth if we don’t make the best of every present moment ?
Yes, there are dark nights of the soul, we may have many, but even the darkest night of the soul is temporary. In those moments, it is even more imperative to allow our inner child to come out and engulf us in pure joy. Surrender.
Seriousness and playfulness have to hold hands and dance together as one for us to be able to live life on Earth at its full capacity. The same goes for all other polarities, whichever form they take in our experience.
That is the message today. Unification. Soulful creation. You can do it. You can be it, if only you dare to.
Love and warmest hugs,
We don’t think much about these two concepts, but the knowledge and the understanding of them could be the secret ingredients to living life in grace’s embrace and they can provide us with that strong foundation of balance and harmony that cannot be easily shaken by neither outer or inner challenges, which we all experience at some point.
I noticed that many of us confuse these two “concepts.” Perhaps “concepts” is not the best word to use, they are much more than that, they are ways of living. Once implemented, they can shift our reality greatly, but first let us describe these ways of living and the difference between, so they will be better comprehended.
As humans, we have been programmed to react to the outer world. It is that primal instinct, animalistic reaction to our environment, to situations, to people. This reaction to outer circumstances is mental, emotional and even physical. In physiology, it is called the ” fight-or-flight response,” but I humbly beg to change the name slightly and say it’s more like the “fight-or-flight reaction,” because indeed it is a physiological reaction, not a response. It triggers neural reactions, secretions of various hormones and a lot more processes are beginning to take place in our body. Reacting can lead to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, weakened immune system and increased risk of heart attack and stroke.
Our body feels like it is being attacked, so it created a very intelligent defense mechanism, that has evolved as necessary and needed throughout centuries of distorted social structures. Today, we are far more advanced than we were even five years ago. We may recognize some primitive behaviour in some, but generally we have evolved and are evolving past those distorted social structures. Defense mechanisms have to evolve too, the walls have to be torn down and as with everything else, this evolution begins through our inner transformation.
On a mental level, our mind reacts to outer circumstances either with dualistic/”positive” or “negative” thoughts, leading to emotional reactions sometimes to those thoughts and perceptions, other times to experiences and situations.
Emotionally, we react with fear, joy, disappointment, happiness, worry, irritation and so on.
Reaction served us for a long time. Now as we have evolved as a society, the mechanisms that imply reaction can be restructured, transformed into new ones that support harmonious states of being and inevitably a greater peace is to be established in our society. What’s so important to know and understand is that reaction is not natural. It is something we had to implement in our states of being to “survive,” to be able to adapt to a dualistic Earth, where fear has been prevalent for eons.
You may find a better understanding in seeing it as a software that was necessary for the computer to function, but a new one, an updated version of the software has been created and the old one needs to be replaced.
The bridge from reaction to response is being built through awareness.
Responding to inner or outer experiences implies cultivating a neutral way of seeing what is and becoming masterful and mindful enough to be able choose our response. It is not to be confused with being robotic, emotions always need to be acknowledged and felt, thoughts always need to flow. The ability to respond blossoms from self-observation. Emotions will be felt, thoughts will be thought, experiences will still be experienced, but they will not get reactions from us, we will choose our response consciously. This choice is what makes the difference between response and reaction.
We either respond with love, or react with fear. Is there one way that is better than the other? No. They are simply chosen experiences to be had. At the end of the day, we have to feel into and reflect on which way works best for us and implement it in our every moment. Common sense alone will definitely guide us towards responding with love, instead of reacting with fear, of course, but actually truly implementing it in our daily lives is the real “challenge.” This process requires dedication and persistence. It is never an overnight process and it’s very multi-faceted, but we are being pushed to change our ways, and it is time to do so.
Observe, be present with the situation at hand and choose your response. Repeat. With practice, responding instead of reacting becomes natural and instinctive and it creates a far more harmonious general life experience. That is how powerful and life-changing, these simple shifts in our consciousness can be.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,
In a world where we often struggle to understand our own reality, where we slowly start tapping into the knowledge of the Self and de-constructing separation beliefs, laughter can be one of the purest medicines to help us discover our true powers.
Wouldn’t it be just great if we could get to know ourselves deeply and not be afraid of sharing who we are with others? With no fear of judgement, to be able to bring our greatest gifts and share them with everybody?
Well, Jonathan P Sears (mostly known as JP Sears) for sure is doing his best in giving the gift of being himself to the planet. With loads of laughter and an unconventional way to speak about spiritual themes.
JP Sears is an emotional healing coach and international teacher founder of Inner Awakenings. He has been in the path of self-discovery, empowering others with his gifts and coaching sessions. JP has been working as a coach and healer for over 16 years. In October 2014, he felt inspired to bring even more of his comic side to YouTube, creating the Ultra Spiritual series.
It’s truly meaningful when you find people in your life who can inspire you to be yourself ! Isn’t that one of the greatest gifts you can give to the world ? To be you ! The most authentic you.
Sharing his journey JP Sears has told us how he became his most authentic self and was able to let go of previous beliefs he had about his image and how he should or shouldn’t deliver his message; with that said, once he started stepping out of his comfort zone he was able to share with the world more of his personality and deliver his message in a unique talented way.
Here you can watch the full interview and learn a bit more about the man who created the Ultra Spiritual Series and his “secret agenda” behind it (not so secret after all).
I remember watching one of JP’s videos around a year ago having absolutely no idea what he was on about. The video subject was regarding taking Ayahuasca. Trust me, it’s already a controversial subject by itself. I was very intrigued by the video topic especially because I had just taken part in my first Ayahuasca ceremony. At the time, I didn’t realise what was the point of the video, rather than it’s focus on the comedy side. In fact, it wasn’t until recently after watching more of his amazing videos, I actually realised he was intentionally bringing up certain issues to be acknowledged by the spiritual community, using comedy to bring up those issues.
Here is the famous Using Ayahuasca video that brings up the use of sacred plants in a non sacred way:
It’s funny how one can get lost in the spiritual path and develop an Ultra Spiritual Ego, that was one of the first things that really put me off spirituality, soon after my “spiritual awakening”. There was a lot of: I’m right – you are wrong , we are better than those who are “sleeping” , unaware of their spiritual side. A common phrase I hear from so called “spiritual people” is : “Oh how do you manage to work in the city with all those people sleeping and that terrible energy?! I can’t stand those people”.
Well I guess JP tackles this issues with his videos pointing out how people can be overly judgemental when they walk the spiritual path promoting the very thing spirituality is meant to awaken you from: Separation!
In his videos he points out many of the spiritual community non-sense and the misuse of what embodying spirit actually is, as well as old beliefs around themes related to spiritual wisdom and the New Age movement.
One of my favourite things is the fact that his videos are becoming so popular and well received by the “non-spiritual” community, in doing so he is raising awareness about spirituality to crowds that would never dare to take a look into certain spiritual themes. I can safely say many of my “non-spiritual” friends are sharing, liking and watching his videos and JP is passing the message, as well as the frequency of his joyful self around the world.
JP’s is a real breath of fresh air and his work has truly touched me and inspired me to bring more of my personality into my work, I ought to be more of myself and let my power within shine bright , I even officially compromise in letting out more of my delightful mad silliness !
I hope his work can inspire you to be You. And be okay with whatever that means, being able to love yourself as you are , spiritual or not . After all .. like JP says: “What the hell is spiritual? Does anyone actually knows what that means ?”
He gives us a true example of how when you allow yourself to be yourself you can not only become a big success but most importantly , bring your Super Powers to shine their light in the world.
He also has coaching sessions and workshops around the world so please stay tuned by visiting his website : http://AwakenWithJP.com
I hope you enjoyed this article and please if you want to have a good laugh here are some of my favourite JP videos :
Thanks for reading and watching,
Love and Light,
Most of us know by now, as proven countless times in our collective and individual history that control, in any way, shape or form, whether we do it to ourselves and/or to others, whether it is subtle or apparent, it is dysfunctional and it is something we eventually have to grow through for obvious reasons, but how do we actively do that and what does fully letting go of control means ?
Many of us have tried to control ourselves, what we’re experiencing and how and when, we tried to control the future because our minds thought it’s safer this way, it provides us with this very temporary feeling of comfort, an illusionary security. For a moment, this might seem to work well, we feel safe and stable, and control does seem to create some kind of order in some ways, so it’s fine to play in it for a few moments, it serves a purpose. But in this space we’ve created, there is no room for expansion, for growth, for self-discovery and exploration. Control comes from some sort of fear always.
Simply put, as long as control is part of our daily practices, life won’t be lived to the fullest. It’s limiting our capacity, our potential, it steals our joy and it becomes exhausting to even try to control everything. Taken to the extreme, we will begin to try to control others around us, and this will just add up to our unhappiness, as control will most likely make relationships wither in time.
Then there comes a moment when this reality simply doesn’t serve us anymore and we are ready to grow and expand through it, and that’s when the reality that’s been built on control starts crumbling down bit by bit and things might get a little bit wonky then. There will be frustration, disappointment, constant irritation, exhaustion, and that’s O.K too. The reality as we knew it in “control-mode” is turned upside down, we are being shaken up, so we can expand. The control freak that’s in many of us begins to feel threatened and emotional reactions like the ones I just mentioned will follow on and on, until we allow ourselves to understand and integrate the wisdom that is being reflected in this experience, until we acknowledge the control freak within us and we allow it to mature and blossom into something more aligned with our free spirit.
Control can be such a great teacher, but to learn from it we have to pay attention like a student in class. In order to be able to learn from the teacher, there needs to be quiet in the room, pay attention to the lesson presented to absorb the knowledge, learn the lesson. Therefore, as with most things, we need to stop for a moment and reflect on our experience so far.
In essence, control is merely a cheap dualistic replica of our soul’s will and power, the aspect within us that “gets things done”, that moves things forward, the action taking aspect. We confused being in charge, an empowered individual with being in control, which are two completely different things.
Being in control means being fixated on very specific outcomes, it means supressing and repressing, as well as manipulating to get what we want, at times lying to do that, only to find ourselves living a life that lacks passion, adventure, spontaneity, and surrender. A dull life.
Being in charge means being aware that we are responsible in all ways for what we are experiencing and directing the energy consciously where we want it to go, as we surrender to what it is and will be, as we allow that directed energy to take the shape that serves us best. This is not to be confused with being passive. Action always needs to be taken, we are physical human beings. Divine will works through us, it doesn’t take actions for us. These actions that need to be taken will be revealed to us one way or another. We simply have to be receptive and open minded, open-hearted and in order to be receptive we have to be present in the moment of now, to be able to recognize and see clearly the opportunities that are being presented to us.
In this case, surrender is the key. Allowing life to unfold as it is, allowing ourselves to be who we are, allowing ourselves to experience what is, allowing ourselves to let go of perceptions, expectations with complete trust that all is unfolding perfectly for us, no matter how it looks in the moment or how chaotic everything might be.
One of the reasons why this dualistic earth experience/experiment is so precious is that we are learning and have learned the two sides of the same coin, so we can absorb the knowledge and wisdom from each experience to be able to choose the one we want.
With so many planets currently in retrograde, I felt compelled to share this piece of information. I see planets in retrograde as older siblings who sometimes playfully pick on us, teasing and triggering us, but love us unconditionally and want what’s best for us. The same goes with planets in retrograde. They highlight the aspects within us that need to be matured through “triggers.” They pick on those aspects and areas of our lives where progress might’ve been slow or inexistent. Those are the aspects and areas where growth and expansion are most needed for us to eventually blossom into a whole and illumined human being.
The control freak aspect within us is very much picked on these days for many of us. The conditioning around control is very deep. Remember always that your response alone to a challenging outer or inner experience can shift an experience completely. Reacting strengthens and supports the on-going experience of the same thing, possibly with different nuances, players and playground. Many perceive this as some”karma” that is out to get us, because we did something “bad” and we’re “paying” for it. This perception is outdated, as that is not the case. When a pattern repeats itself, we create it to eventually transform, absorb its wisdom and integrate what’s necessary from it in our human psyche and, inevitably, in our daily lives. It’s all designed to facilitate our soul-human evolution.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,