“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” _Rumi
“We are only as good as our worst, and only as perfect as our imperfections” _ Emina Gaspar Vrana.
So I ask myself what does it mean to be human?
And the answer I get is :facing your limitations, looking deep within yourself.
When I was a little girl I never knew I had such dark side inside of myself. Or maybe back then I didn’t yet had it, and this darkness grew bigger as a way to protect myself from all the pain and trauma I went through? Or maybe this is just an excuse for something that is already part of me, part of my karma part of my human life.
Today I wanted to talk about Self-Harming.
This crazy self-aggression, this anger that comes from deep down within. This madness that wants to attack others and yourself.
What is this?
Where does it come from? How is it even possible that this is inside of me, when all I want is to be good, is to show all my love, all my light, all my compassion, all my willingness to connect with others in the most beautiful way.
Where does this darkness comes from?
Why is it there? – I ask God.
What good is it for?
How can I begin to understand it?
Today after 10 years of being “clean” I face myself again. I face my biggest limitation, my biggest fear, the fear of not being in control of my darkness.
Self-harming is a theme not many people talk about, is such an ugly thing, everyone just wants to hide and brush it off. Especially the ones who suffer from it. Just like domestic violence and physical aggression. Yet some very beautiful souls suffer from such ailment.
I never knew how many of my beautiful friends had gone through such issue until recently. But I’m not talking about any of them , I’m here to talk about myself.
About my ugliness, about my flaws about my mistakes.
To tear down my ego into a millions pieces.
I’m no longer afraid to hide it from anyone , to show what is inside myself.
Yes I have this side, when I’m lost it can get really bad, I can end up hurting myself physically so the pain my heart is feeling, the noise in my head , the confusion, can finally stop.
It’s such a chaos to let this side of me out, because deep down all I really want is to be held, to be heard, to be loved, to be accepted. and instead I start to self-sabotage and to lose myself.
The funny thing is after all this self-work, after helping so many people to find their light, after being a so called “healer” , a “teacher” , I too have to face my limitations.
But this time there is no space to hide, not even from the ones I love the most.
Total and true transparency! Yes, this is part of me.
Can I still love myself knowing this part of me is still alive inside of me?
Yes, I can.
Can I accept after all this self-work I still face moments where I don’t know what to do? Where I need help, where I need to confront all my beliefs? All my faith?
I simply have to surrender.
Surrender to God, and understand I’m still so small. That I’m still learning.
Even though I’m doing my best in life I have to accept as much as I might try to hide from everyone this issue is there. I have to be strong for myself to stand there for me and to love myself through it.
To also understand that I’m worthy of love, that there are people who will stand by my side no matter what, that there are people who will not run way from my darkness. They will see through it. They will have compassion and strength to hold my hand through it, and for that I’m forever grateful, because in this life there will be beautiful souls that will stand in the darkness with you until you can find your way back into light.
But the lesson here is to really surrender to give it all to God, to see I don’t want to hold on to this part of myself. To pray so vehemently to God and to bend on my knees and bowl my head asking for forgiveness, asking God to take this anger, take this pain, take this darkness away from me. To understand I don’t know what to do with it, that I don’t want to hold on to it. That I have to be so humble and so dedicated to my self-acceptance, that I still have so much to know, so much to give up.
So please God take it, take my heart, guide me through your grace I surrender to you. I am yours take my darkness and please let me free from it, because I’m so tired of hurting myself and hurting the ones I love.
So if you suffer from this problem. I here confide to you.
You can do this! Surrender, let go. You are not alone. Loads of people struggle with their darkness, be brave to see through it. Be brave to understand you are worthy of love, worthy of acceptance, and that there are people strong enough to stay by your side. To love you no matter what.
As humans our greatest gift is love, compassion and humility. To stand together to give each other strength to find our way.
Be courageous, all the answers are within yourself. All the love is within yourself. All the light is also there.
Be wise enough to see this is just a movie. That deep down, you are consciousness expressing itself and all this make believe theatre and drama of life isn’t even real.
Your true nature is Love, and you can always find your way back to yourself.
Thanks for reading.
If you have questions and comments feel free to ask. I haven’t figured it out how to deal with this myself , but together we are stronger. So ask away and I will do my best to share all I have learned about it.
Love and Light,
“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi,
I often wonder what keeps people together.
What is the damn bond … the magical invisible string that ties one to another?
I also used to think doing things in the same way was the issue keeping me from actually understanding more about love and emotional satisfaction.
But wait, since I have changed everything, even myself, I have done everything different … and tried and tested with all sorts of different situations.
Still I’m yet to experience, in a flash, what I know to be true love in my heart.
But those are even deeper topics for discussion.
Right now I’m just contemplating this question:
So what keeps the bond?
Is it something that can be controlled or is it totally random? Or even worse .. is it meant to be with the one person that is meant for you?
That’s rather unfair to everyone else … if you think there is only this one person who is a match to you …. Amongst 7 billion others …
You are then bound to find each other, and vague in search of this almost impossible quest … But isn’t this the biggest lie?
First of all let’s take a look at love .. and what love is .. I’m talking about true unconditional love; not falling in love with the things about the person .. but falling in love with the energy behind that identity… If so… Isn’t that energy within everyone?
Because if we are one, we are all the same energy being played over and over by different theatrical characters. But when you strip away identity, what is left is the immutable .. What is left is raw, never changing, wholesome energy. Its source. The universe itself.
So… If we are falling in love, the least important thing is the person, the personality … I was happy to hear from Esther Hicks in one of her talks “ The person is irrelevant when you are in love”. Maybe it’s because when love comes it takes you so abruptly and strongly that you better have someone to become the object of your loving, or for you to use it as an excuse to connect to the energy.
I have done that before … a few times now .. Loved so deeply and used the identity of certain people to increase my connection to source, to go right up all the way to heaven and bathe in the love for everything, for everyone ….
Aw, that feeling of aliveness never compares to anything. It is being in love with God personified in one identity where you can focus upon … and the devotion that comes with it … Indescribable .. devotion not to the person ..but to the energy… Burning anything inside your heart, making it so pure you become a child again in awe with every moment .. every minute.
However, back to my question… In the realm of physical, and togetherness; in the realm of flesh and bone … I’m yet to share this unstoppable force with someone that can surrender to it.
Or even to make love with one physical body and remain together .. bound by that string…
I’m not talking about sex here. Those are very different things. I’m talking about energy … about getting absolutely lost in each other and not even knowing where one begins and the other ends.. I’m talking about true connection, true love … And I’m yet concerned that maybe what I believe to be true might be just a myth of my own imagination. That this kind of connection is not possible, that humanity might not yet be ready for it.
Or maybe I am just so damned blessed and cursed, all at once for knowing this kind of thing exists, but this might be a secret to mankind; and if there are a few out there that might begin to grasp what I am really talking about … It would be nice to know they do exist.
Sacred sex, where love is the note guiding each one into the truth of each other… This is no joke, it is a ceremonial thing. That’s how man and woman should connect, falling in love with God inside each other’s eyes …. Falling in love with life itself, contained in each other’s body. A touch so soft that could melt away any pain, any fear..
And yet where is the glue? … That brings those 2 people together to be fearless to experience the only thing worth living for?
Thanks for reading,
“Isn’t it time to turn your heart into a temple of fire?”_ Rumi
Tic tock, I look at the clock and guess what! I’m still alive. This has been my current trend of thought since watching the Sadhguru’s video explaining that death will come very naturally to everyone on this planet. Funny observation as too many of us humans spend their lives practicing being dead, stiff like corpses … lacking gratitude and awareness for the gift of being alive.
So what have you been doing? Are you cultivating this aliveness within yourself? Or are you choosing to march around closing your eyes to life.
I for one am having an overload of delightfulness, extreme curiosity for all the colors of life and everything it keeps bringing me. It is sometimes a challenge to tame my thirst for savouring everything and everyone all at once. I am afraid I might swallow the world and just explode into particles of desire. Or maybe, I’ll turn again into Kali , running around cutting demons’ heads off. In the hopes Shiva might come at my aid to control all this madness, all this energy. I’m running on kundalini , prana , life force and so is everyone on the planet – except I’m very aware of it, of life playing through my bones.
My heart is burning, it’s on fire, looking for more than it has ever had. Anything or anyone that does not share the likes of this intensity is rapidly torn apart from it. The fire is too great, I can barely control my focus. Everything is wanted, needed invited…
I want it all and I want it now, chaos, chaos, chaos …. Delightful madness of chaos and sincere abrupt explosions of emotions.
The dancing of life has become rather fast… The drumming is so loud my body follows it without questioning. My mind can barely keep up with the strength of my thirst. Poor mind, trying to help .. but nothing is to be done when the fire has taken over…
What to do? If not observing this circus… Looking for moments of divine clarity and jumping into them. Following the impulses of life as they command my temple of Self. Aware of the dance, but way too busy dancing to pretend I can control my moves.
Run through me fire of consciousness, take me with you, I’m tired of fighting the rhythm…
Because I know this is momentary. Because I know just as this fire burns strong …I know soon, there will be only stillness.
In the center of the tornado… there, I will stand still in my own Self-awareness. The weather is part of me, but not all of who I am.
So we dance in the fire. For now.
Flaming heart of aliveness, I salute you with all my love.
“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames” _ Rumi
Thank you for Reading.
Love and Light,
“We humans are made up of stardust. Our eyes reflect starlight. And when we crack it escapes and shines through.”
― Vanshika Dhyani
For those who have had the infinite pleasure to meet their twin flame or twin soul , whichever the term it might be. For those who had to brave into the waters of unconditional love and learn about the non-time-space ways you are connected to another being; for those who truly experienced seeing their other half in another body; or even if you remember different lifetimes with your twin and have had the pleasure of re-encountering them in this lifetime as an incarnated being.
I have something to say to you.
Well, dear one, you were in for a ride huh! Did you know it was possible to love like this and to lose yourself into another being? Did you know how hard it was to be apart from this other person whom you know deep down to the core?
Well, it’s no secret many are experiencing this phenomena and many are having to go through the stages of a twin flame relationship, including the most annoying one “the runner/chaser”, and the most agonizing one the “separation”. It’s rare to find Twins that managed to master their mission on Earth and stayed together in harmony, or managed to reunite after both realized who they were for each other.
In most cases there is an imbalance and one twin the “most spiritually evolved” one will be more aware of their mission and their connection, while the “less spiritually evolved” will run away and bla bla bla … (all that spiritual presumption of one person being further, or more realized then the other, which again diverts away from the actual energy of Love)
What does this sound like to you now ? What stage of your twin relationship are you at?
Well if you ask me here goes my own experience and perspective on this whole thing..
The Twin Flame experience has one main objective. To bring you back into Love, love with yourself , to love yourself unconditionally and this other person too. To accept yourself fully and completely , to really see beyond this world and this body. To acknowledge who you are and what you are made of, to transcend separation, to understand we are ONE, and ultimately to be able to see God in everything.
So once you are in this place where you finally know Love you can love freely, at least you can say you know what that means. Because you can love your twin with no conditions, you can now love yourself in the same way. You can then start taking the same approach into all areas of your life with new eyes, awakened eyes, eyes full of awareness.
And the most amazing thing is once you know who you really are, how complete and full and wonderful you truly are and that your happiness does not depend on anyone else, that nothing external can complete you, once you learn you are the creator and responsible for all your experiences, well, my friend, then you know that even though your twin is the exact same vibration and has the same soul signature as you, even then, you can see beyond that story.
If you survive the separation period and you learn all the lessons it had to teach you, that you are your own flame, that no one in the world will be able to give you this love that is already within you. Love is meant to be emanated from you to the world.
So why do I call this the twin Flame black hole ?
Well around a year ago a healer friend of mine referred to the twin flame experience as a black hole.. I had no idea why he was saying that. In fact, I even though it was a little insensitive, however, that person was a kind wise being and so I remembered those words…
The Twin flame Black Hole
For sure it will suck you in with full power, because the story of finding and meeting your one true love is way too juicy. It will change all your thoughts about yourself and love and you will disappear into nothingness . After entering this black hole you will eventually emerge as a whole new person, a new thing… You won’t recognize who you are anymore and it won’t even matter.
Because you know you are Love .
The most amazing thing is that’s being or not being with your twin won’t hurt you anymore because you are already complete. You will be able to continue loving your twin dearly and unconditionally , but you won’t believe in that story of neediness , or the fact there is only one true love in the whole universe that is yours, and that if you don’t find that person you won’t be happy. That’s just impossible.
You will be able to love anyone you wish too. Because you will have learnt, after emerging from the black whole, beyond a certain point we are all the same energy. You will trust your heart and be able to open it to the lightness of being free to love anyone you wish to love.
And most importantly you will listen to the truth in love, a love that is free to be with no judgment, light and warming like the sunshine on a winter day. A love with no fear, not even when it makes fear arise to be looked at. No fear to feel fear, it’s the gift true love gives you.
And if it does not serve you, you will be able to let go of it, just as you picked it up. Being able to continue to hold infinite amounts of love for any person you truly love – one or one hundred, love is infinite.
The funny thing is, now that you know who you are it is very enjoyable because there are no ways you can fool yourself, because you know anything making you uncomfortable, tense, is not in the other person, but is within yourself. So you can go through your patterns and let go of them, you might not even have the need to engage with them, you know how blessed you are for being able to share any of this experience with another being.
And of course you will know there is no need to be rejected because when you fully love and accept yourself, any type of rejection can only be done to oneself, not to other. Because when you emerge a new after the black hole nothing will have a hold on you; and you will be able to find love in anyone and anything.
The black hole is absolutely beautiful and equally terrifying, as for those who entered there is no return.
“Black holes are the seductive dragons of the universe, outwardly quiescent yet violent at the heart, uncanny, hostile, primeval, emitting a negative radiance that draws all toward them, gobbling up all who come too close. Once having entered the tumultuous orbit of a black hole, nothing can break away from its passionate but fatal embrace. Though cons of teasing play may be granted the doomed, ultimately play turns to prey and all are sucked haplessly―brilliantly aglow, true, but oh so briefly so―into the fire-breathing maw of oblivion. Black holes, which have no memory, are said to contain the earliest memories of the universe, and the most recent, too, while at the same time obliterating all memory by obliterating all its embodiments. Such paradoxes characterize these strange galactic monsters, for whom creation is destruction, death life, chaos order. And darkness illumination: for, as dragons are also called worms, so black hole are known as wormholes, offering a mystical and intimate pathway to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, thus bring light as they consume it.”
― Robert Coover,
Be brave, and dive into the mystery of YourSelf so you can finally learn how to truly love while being in this body.
Thank you for reading,
Love and Light,
A friend once brought up a question, an observation, about the fact that only a full self-realized being could truly love. That normal people are often not capable of truly loving. This observation stayed with me for a while. I had to go deep within myself to fully understand my own perspective about this.
And to be happy to fully disagree.
See, love is the very thing that permeates the all. Therefore, by definition we are that. We are this energy, and this divine essence is what brings us into being, so every single one of us, deep down, in our essence, knows what love truly is.
We might be here in this body afraid of finding out who we truly are because that threatens our independence, we are afraid of our own light. However, love is present in every choice we make, even the ones that appear to be led by negative frequencies such as fear.
If we dig deep in every action we will see love is the motive, because one might be coming from the illusion of not having love, not feeling the flow of love, or because one is open, willing to share this energy with the world in every single aspect of their lives.
The point is, every day there are non-realized beings acting from that place. Because miracles are everywhere, that’s a fact. In the way you smile, in a deep breath you take, in a chance you take to change your life, in a simple act of kindness, in the love of a parent, in a caring friend, anything that resonates with that frequency is that frequency even when we don’t realize the power of it, even when we fail to see it daily… We are all acting in sync with God, aware or not, we are part of the making. And here we are playing a part in the illusion. It is very hard to see from one single perspective that true love is reflected in every single particle of life.
Perhaps a fully realized being would be able to see that everywhere. But perhaps a fully realized being would also know how little gestures, little miracles, powered by true crystalline love are present in every day of our lives, is the very fuel that keeps this reality into motion.
I might be totally out of my head but I’m pretty sure that when God looks at us all it sees is love. Even when we are in anger, in pain or fear. Why do we insist in making such distinction between ourselves when are all the same force? Why do we chase so much to be something we already are? Just so we can be once again one with love, one with God. But if there is no such separation, just the perception of it, we can begin to have the awareness about our truth and be able to observe true love in every single being.
This is what I choose to believe in. This is what I choose as my truth.
To be able to see that through any suffering, to be able to see love in all circumstances, to believe in the power of love and to surrender to it daily.
Thanks for reading.
Love and Light,
Here is a thought led by heart.
Nature is perfection. God, as the great creator of all things has created the human experience. We belong to many worlds at once and in this experience we can discover and remember who we are in our totality. By the act of finding Truth in the Love that moves all things in nature and in the different worlds we are linked to.
Mind, ego, personality are things that enable this experience. They are precious gifts given by the Great Creator, just so we can have the joy of finding our Truth in the Love that we are. Instead of negating any part of our totality, inviting one to shower any aspects of separation with love might lead you to see how beautiful your mind, given to you by God, is. Because it allows you to create the dream you are living right now and to experience this life in the way it is. Your ego too has an important service to you, without it you would be still merged into the cosmic soup, but when you shower the ego with the pure love of light, given to you by God to find out how perfect you are, the ego loses its negative aspects and becomes another important and special note in the perfect symphony of creation that is you.
It’s your personality that carries the story of you, and the traits you will find within yourself so you can discover the joy of being way more than your identity. Then you can start remembering your other identities. The collective of identities you have been in the past lives you lived that make part of your cosmic story. Then you can find out the collective of souls you make part of beyond those identities.. You can discover different aspects of yourself.. in different dimensions, in different worlds, you can become more of your own totality and discover more of your truth.
You may also go beyond all that and discover your Nothingness and your Real Truth.
So from that place although thoughts, feelings, forms, time, space or identity might not exist..
From that place, you will see the perfection of the All of Creation.
There will be no need to fight the ego or condemn the mind.
So why not practice that Now?
Be the love you are in all aspects of your life if you are going to spend time debating about those things or putting your energy into a spiritual path.
Practice the act of being Truth, and simply Be Love.
No more rejection, no more. Because all is perfect. Because all is well.
Be Aware of who You Truly Are.
Thanks for Reading,
Love and Light.
Laboratory scientist Dean Radin describes an experiment testing the relationship between mind and matter. In this experiment, random number generators are used to test whether collective human attention corresponds to a change in the physical environment.
Watch this amazing video and learn how thought affects matter and how it can be quantified as means of consciousness being analysed in data collection experiments.
Read more at http://consciousness-app.com/
Thanks for watching.
Love and Light,
The more I learn about the spiritual world the more I realise how important it is to have an open mind and be able to see beyond normal spectrums. It’s also important to be able to see science in a whole different way.
When talking about quantum healing and understanding about how the human DNA can be unlocked to its full potential, Jimmy Dias has a lot to offer with his expertise and line of services.
For sure combining the world of quantum physics with spiritual healing and using specific codes to activate divine wisdom within your own DNA is a theme that has brought me a lot of curiosity and excitement.
After I experienced those healing sessions with Jimmy and had my whole Golden DNA activation done I was able to understand how constricted we can be by our own old ways of being. Using these techniques can bring a enormous amount of freedom. The light codes used in the sessions are as if the are alive and talking to you. It’s like you already knew them and by having them revealed and used throughout your energetic system brings back certain blueprints and cellular memories you weren’t aware of.
Jimmy has been working with such healing techniques for years and nothing better than hearing his journey from himself. Here is a video interview about his path, journey and way of working:
To self empower oneself and take action towards unlocking the power within oneself is a very important step towards self development. You must want that for yourself. Even if you don’t consciously know that you are constantly walking in that direction, your experiences are tailored for it.
In a way we are all going through this process , but some of us decide to speed up the process because they simply choose to and are ready for it.
There is a Free Webinar coming up on the 7th of March and you can sign up here to see Jimmy live .
Also here is a video on the details for the Webinar and what to expect:
If you want to get some free healing, click here to register into this webinar.
Love and Light,
I have heard people say many times: “ You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”. Haha! It makes me laugh because there was a time I used to think this was true, time long ago when I didn’t realise every sing aspect of my life has been chosen and accepted as well as created by me. We choose everything we experience, especially our family and friends the closest people to us the and even the ones passing by on the street, they are all part of our creation.
Some people don’t realise how truly connected everything is. Every single thought is creating a ripple and reflecting back to us what our internal world is creating. But why would I believe that when it is much easier to take no responsibility for what I am experiencing ? It’s much easier to pass the blame onto others, to put yourself in a position of victimization and blame the world and the big bad things that are happening around the planet onto others. Truth is you are also responsible for creating it. Each one of us is.
There is a theme happening now. And the theme involves family and loved ones. But in particular, family. Many people have experienced huge shifts in 2015 and those shifts have created a new way of being, it has raised the energetic grid in the planet so those touched by divine energy are now pushed to “do the work”. Talk the walk is no longer an option, you who are awakening, yes you , it’s time to walk the talk , over and over , test after test until you are fully embodying your talk walking it daily , staying in you truth and being the light you already know you are.
So, to start the year nothing better than going back to your foundations and nothing best than the family you chose to be born in for your earthly training. Yes, before you incarnated you choose every single one of your family members so you could work together , learn lessons and grow as a human being .
Overcoming any challenges between you and your parents, cleansing ancestral karma is happening in this first part of the year for some. You amight be called to come clean and clear to practice unconditional love with your family; to be an example, to show the light within you with confidence and bliss; to be able to go through uncomfortable situations with divine grace and to be able to see right through the illusion and understand everyone is coming from love all times.
Yes, you lightworker, starseed, whatever “terminology” you choose, you who know in your heart what unity consciousness is. You who know God, who see God in everything, all aspects of creation; you, who know you are everything and nothing. It’s time to practice this teaching with your family and to be a wayshower.
It’s time to release old ancestral karmic constrains. It is part of your work to be a beam of light into your lineage, to restore more divine essence to flow within the planet. As we ascend we got to let go of so much. And with that, what is no longer serving you and your ancestors is going to come up to be released. Do not be afraid it is time to allow this to be gone. All the pain and suffering is not longer needed , but it must to be released. For that it must be faced , it must be understood. You will have to see it for what it is .. a story that is helping you to find your way back to your divine essence.
So be your parents, put yourself in their perspective. Allow yourself to see your whole family perspective and the role everyone has played into your life , into your story, into your learning. See beyond that. See the deep love they share for you beyond their own comprehension, see the love you feel for them beyond your comprehension. Be this love . Let go of all the story and be in the present, be the love you are. Understand you are the creator of your reality and your family is a key part of that. Shifting all your family’s ancestral interactions and clearing this karma is part of your journey. To understand the whole process, or even if you don’t understand, just trust it has all been there for you to experience love beyond any rational explanation. Become this love, walk the path of love, be the light you are, even in the darkest moments, even when you’re experiencing your shadows be love at all times.
It’s time to start reflecting your learnings on the outer, walking the truth within through a new way of being, the way of Love, expressing the love you are in all aspects of your life.
Thanks for reading,
Love and Light,
*Featured Image and body image by Alex Gray