All posts by Sabrina Santos

When the universe talks to you.

“The Universe is always speaking to us… sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, look around, and believe in something else, something more.” _ Nancy Thayer

This life… What a mystery!

There are certain things that you can never forget… and the story I’m about to tell you is simply one of the greatest series of small weird events that I will forever treasure in my heart.

It’s really crazy if you stop to think that our very memories are what give us the definition of time itself. By bringing them up in our minds, we can relive them and bring them to our present moment.

We were in love in paradise, haha. The Philippines! To be more precise, we were in Donsol Bay.. a very remote part of Manila where technology hasn’t quite picked up the pace yet.. We went there in the hope of adventure and some whale sharks!

On one hand it is great not to have internet, no working Wi-Fi.. It’s almost as if the rest of the world doesn’t exist, but that I won’t simply account to lack of internet. When me and my loved one are together it’s almost like we are swallowed by this big bubble and the rest of the world disappears and our movie starts playing…

And oh boy! What a movie that is.

I can honestly tell you, life can be anything but boring when we are together… Even when I’m bored he starts immediately teasing me with the repetitive and constant saying: Baby are you bored, are you bored, are you bored are you bored… almost like a song he made up. And immediately the boredom disappears.

Oh Nicky, God was in a veeery great mood when he created you!

On this particular day, we had an important task… We needed to pay our hotel bill, and you would guess the good folks of Donsol would take cards… but no…  They were only accepting cash…

We were trying to figure out where to go so we could get cash from a cash point, but things were not so straight forward in Donsol Bay…

So we decided to figure it out, where and how to sort this payment situation, while all we wanted to do was enjoy our holiday and not have to worry about chasing this money.

Our first attempt was to find good working Wi-Fi… because we wanted to book our flights to Nepal which were going up every day, but for some reason the Wi-Fi in our hotel wasn’t good enough. We were recommended to try an air b and b in town that apparently had a good Wi-Fi connection.

We got in the car… Nicky siting behind the wheel. He gave me that look, with his big blue eyes, raising his eyebrows and putting up a smile without showing his teeth, as if he is about to deliver some secret message and boom, he pushes in this CD which has the craziest instrumental song, as if we are boarding a space ship and then he says: Welcome To Planet Earth!

I laughed, it was like… okay, let’s see what kind of adventures this day will bring us. The music kept on playing while I looked out the windows admiring the leaves on the trees… The different shades of green and the beautiful sunshine passing through them…

Earlier that morning, the first thing we did was to jump out of our bedroom’s balcony and jump in the water for a swim. Kissing, hugging, making love. Surrounded by coconut trees… What a way to live life, just writing about this now I get goose bumps and tears in my eyes, and this wave of love and excitement runs throughout my body.

But back to the car… Chasing this little place, looking for the air b and b and the good Wi-Fi… This experience wasn’t quite as glamorous. We found the place, knocked on the door, and this lovely lady came out to let us in with a smile on her face.

We walked in her house asking about the Wi-Fi and said it was well recommended, and if she could help us… but it didn’t look like the universe was on our side… or so we thought.

After half an hour trying and failing, we asked what options would be available for us to get cash and we started to get a little agitated. It’s funny how some things we are used to in Europe can get under our skin when in a faraway country. No working Wi-Fi… That was a no go for Nepal, or further bookings which we needed for the next step of our trip, so we then decided to focus on the next big task, which was paying our hotel bill with no working cash place in Donsol, no banks open as it was the weekend… The next step was to drive to the nearby small town.

We were both a little irritated, this time Nicky was a little more sensitive to the situation. I was trying to keep cool and calm, but of course the stress created a little arguing. We were both determined to solve the payment issue and we both wanted to solve it in our own ways. We wanted to get cash out to pay the hotel but somehow I ended up getting out of the car and he drove away. Damn, we hate arguing but yet we play this role… I was angry and wanted to walk back to the hotel and figure other options out… Nicky wanted to drive to the next town… only to remember we needed both of us to take cash out and I didn’t give him my card, plus I was kind of lost not knowing which way to walk… shame on me… I should have tried to talk things through instead of storming off… Shame on him, he should haven’t left without me… haha, I was also thinking he didn’t know where he was driving to… Because our phones’ internet wasn’t really working either, so Google maps was always going off.

The great thing is that the mobile phone carrier for calls was working, so I called him and said, “Mmm. You need to take my card with you… Can you please pick me up?” He came back, I got in the car, and we started driving.

 “Towards the next town”… Nicky thought we were heading back to the hotel, apparently our sense of direction isn’t the best….

We were both quite angry at the situation and at each other, but after getting in the car we put some very serious faces on and out of nowhere we both cracked up laughing. And somehow it became easier to look at this whole movie and to even enjoy its discomfort…

It’s funny how sometimes this happens. We might be mad and angry, but something just shifts… and the bad vibe between us is broken. Who is controlling this? How does this happen? Because in other moments, no matter how much we try we can be stuck in the bad vibe and working against each other. The truth is, no matter how much our egos are strong and stubborn, deep down in our hearts all we really want is to stay in love and connected and it’s much more fun to laugh and work as a team…

So what is in control? How does this all work? Does anyone know? I’m super far from figuring it out.

But back to our day…

Anyway… We then started to drive on this tiny road that was under construction. Only one lane was working… we were halfway up the lane when cars started to come down, making us go back…

It was quite ridiculous… It was almost as if the universe was pushing us back… And of course we were still laughing but also angry with the adversity and weirdness of the situation. Thank God Nicky is a great driver… he managed to reverse all the way back down the hill, to let all the trucks, cars, and motorbikes come down.  We waited for all the traffic and managed to drive back up, so finally we could continue our journey to the next town.

– What is this good for? Nicky asked God out loud.

We have this thing… the both of us talk to God out loud in front of each other. It did look like a great charade, a big joke from the universe.

We kept on going to finally arrive at this little town and to find out the cash point was not working at all, so we really had no option but to stay longer or try another day. We didn’t want to be in a car driving around, we wanted to be at the beach, swimming with the fishes and enjoying ourselves, but we were doing all these boring trivial things and everything was so freaking difficult.

The good thing was the little town had a supermarket, and for a miracle they accepted cards, so we thought we would buy all kinds of snacks to cheer ourselves up, plus we had no extra cash to pay for stuff in our hotel or the restaurant (which btw didn’t take cards).

So, like two little kids we started getting all the things we wanted to stuff our faces with. We went to the cashier to pay. All the shopping was placed in the paper bag and Nicky grabbed it while I finished paying.

Now the movie gets funnier. As he is walking out, the whole bag breaks and all our shopping is literally all over the street right in front of the supermarket… and what is even funnier is the fact that Nicky decided just to keep on walking forward without even looking back, rising his hands up as if to say ‘I give up’,  (yet he just left and didn’t even look back).

I really wish there was a camera filming this… everyone was looking at him and at me. I also raised my hands and said yeah this just happened! And I cracked up laughing. The packing guy in the store helped me put the stuff back into a new bag while Nicky walked back shaking his head, signalling to me that something is definitely out of order.

We made our way back to the car… and on the way there was this little game house which was an internet place! So I said: Yes! Babe, they gotta have Wi-Fi here… let’s ask…

Once again, where is a film maker when you need them?

First of all, let me give you some context…

Nicky Brouwer is a tall handsome man. Okay I don’t wanna get carried away on compliments, but the guy is hot… and very blond. I already mentioned the blue eyes, right!?  He is standing out in this little town in the middle of nowhere in the Philippines, and the fact he is very “white” is already enough to call all eyes to turn attention towards him, or to identify him as a walking cash machine (yep that happens in Asia).

I’m Brazilian… Funny enough… my olive skin and mixed European background, with a hint of indigenous tribe, gives me a kind of look of  “I could be from anywhere”, so most countries I travel to, especially in Asia,  have a question mark on their faces that asks is this girl from here? And what is she doing with this white guy?  Plus… I’m not that bad looking either…

So let’s just say there were a loooot of eyes looking at us…

So… there we were, going into this tiny internet café made out of wood, full of guys playing video games on old looking computers… We walk in and everyone starts staring. We stopped at the counter and I asked the lady: Do you have Wi-Fi?

She didn’t move… In fact she did not even blink. To be more precise she didn’t even looked at us. She was looking up at some screen so I asked again… again no reaction. I immediately started laughing. This was just too funny. Nothing was working out. Everything was weird.

And finally, after a few more seconds of awkwardness, she looked towards us and said no it’s not working… 

At this point I just relaxed and completely let go of trying to get cash, Wi-Fi, or any easy outcome…

We left the internet cafe (that had no internet), got in the car, and stared heading to our hotel.

I remember asking each other what is going on?

And as we are trying to leave, again on another tiny road (there are many tiny roads in Donsol), a car simply drives towards us.. Now things are getting totally out of control. The car was quite posh, completely black, including the windows… we could not see anything inside of it… no driver… no passengers… Nicky looked at me and said: I’m not going back… I’m gonna get out the car and talk to them.

I tell you, I was a little afraid. For all I knew it could be the Philipino mafia (if there was one, they would drive that kinda car).

I tried to ask him to stay in the car, but I was also intrigued to know who the hell was in there. They didn’t move, didn’t put the window down… It was super weird…

Nicky said he would offer them money to go back… I asked him not to… first of all, we didn’t even have enough cash to pay our hotel bill, hahaha.

But I tell you what, this scene is stuck in my memory. Nicky right next to this car with our shared wallet (the wallet we bought for our couple’s traveling money, which is pink and full of owls, with huge eyes).

Now picture this… he is out, next to this car, holding this wallet, full of owls on it, looking at a black car with black windows. We can’t see any passengers… he looks at me and at the car… nothing happens. He is about to open his mouth to say something, and then the car simply backs away.

Nicky gets back in the driver’s seat… and we drive away.

To this day, we still wonder… who the hell was driving this car?

Was it a man? A woman? Were there more people inside?

Why they didn’t say a word or open the windows?

What a strange day, full of strange situations. Who was in the car?

But when we look back at this story, we look at each other and say it was God driving that car.

Just playing with us. Showing us how this life can be so unpredictable, that things are always happening in all sorts of ways.

Sometimes we are clearly creating our movie, attracting some situations, and at other times everything is so random and unpredictable.

The universe is in constant motion. Things are always changing, emotions, situations…

Sometimes everything is flowing so well. We feel in alignment with it, with our thoughts, with the very air we breathe. It all feels like one.

But at some points things are really stuck and everything is hard… And we might feel lost…

And like in this story everything went wrong, but it became such a great funny story that we love to look back at it and it makes our travels more special and rich.

We went through a lot, me and Nicky… we had so many adventures.

And I just wonder what God would have told us if it was him driving the car. If he/she had turned the window down, what would be the words?

I would like to think the words would be “Enjoy your movie, one day you will be back here in the cosmic soup of creation and it will all be a dream… a memory… but for now, go and enjoy each other and explore this world.”

And my heart can only sigh with love and appreciation for sharing this movie with my best friend, my lover, my adventure partner …

Thank you God, for creating this opportunity to experience all this <3

Thanks for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina

The Gift Of Death

“I learned that every mortal will taste death.But only some will taste life”

_Rumi

The life we live is a gift but can we see it as such?

Yes we can, and yet  at times all we can see is pain.

That’s part of life, that’s actually part of its mystery and its magic. It is through pain we grow and learn how to hold more love, more light. Becoming better human beings; more compassionate, humbler of how little we know.  Learning to be appreciative of the beautiful moments we have in this planet.

Looking at the bodies burning in the cremation grounds, in the sacred land of Nepal, is definitely an experience that I will never forget and with no doubt I wish to return to that place so many more times…

Pashupatinath Temple , Kathmandu

Why?

You might be thinking it’s such a morbid thing to do, but actually somehow that gives me great hope in humanity.

We act as we are invincible, but we are so fragile. Our lives can end at any moment and when I sit down and look at the fire consuming those bodies that are becoming ash, going back into the cosmic soup .. that’s when I truly value being alive in my own body.

My life can be told in so many different ways… I can choose to tell you all about my pain and my suffering, all the heart breaks, all the childhood trauma … and yes I do honour those moments that made me grow, that shaped me into such person that I am today.

I can also choose to tell you about the times I lost myself in that darkness and I wished for my own death … that I felt so alone and abandoned that it felt as my own essence was broken into a million pieces…

But today I tell you this story…

Yes, I can say to you I have not yet meet a human being that has not gone through this deep sense of being lost. We all have it. We make the most to hide it from others and from ourselves especially.

So this is how I will make good use of my words to empower myself and others. Like in the four agreements book, one of my favourites reads. You can use the word to create your life, your own reality. By the way you use this power, the power of the word, in the way and how you tell your story to others… Every time you choose pain and guilt, every time you portray yourself as a victim, you create more of that.

However, when you put yourself in a place of understanding, love and compassion, that my friends is true empowerment.

So the words I’m using here are to set myself even freer, to expand my soul. To look at death as the greatest gift, that makes me time after time appreciate being alive even if there were moments in which  I completely lost myself.

There is something, somehow, something within that keeps coming back up and pointing the way, bringing back all the love a, all the light , all the purity of my heart.

To wish for a better life, a better world, to create from a better place.

It’s okay to choose the same lover 1000 times even if you had your heart broken twice as much, it’s also okay to let them go and let God bring you new love … As long as you keep believing, having faith, growing, cherishing life, cherishing the treasures of your own heart.  Every choice you make is fine, you can keep on choosing anew everyday as long as you are choosing from a place of love, of truly living.

What does being alive means???

It is not just simply moving around in the body, doing things, waking up, going to work, being on auto pilot.

No, that’s existing!

Being alive means courage!

What is courage?

Courage is acting from a place from the heart.

This might be a hard explanation, because if you heart is closed … even if you are not coming from your thoughts you are in trouble … if you heart is closed, all you feel and do is coming out of survival, out of defensiveness, out of separation.

But when your heart is open nothing can hurt you, you come from a place of love, acceptance, inclusiveness. And although it might be frightening to make choices and be courageous and expose your heart to new hurts, what type of life would you rather live?

A sterile safe life, on auto pilot?

Or a life that gives you light in itself?

How do you express yourself? Is it from a place where you want to be seen doing what you “think” is right? Acting in a way in which the people around you will approve your choices?

Or is it from a place from true authenticity?

From a place of fulfilment and expansion?

From a place of true connection…

And what is true connection anyways?

Very few humans have the opportunity to experience that.

Everyone is so cover up with all types of masks, pretending acting in certain ways that is so rare when people truly connect showing al their vulnerability to one another.

Who are you here to impress?

Is the people around yourself? Your family?

Or is it your soul, your own heart?

I tell you, living from this place is almost impossible, it can be so volatile and you feel so exposed…

But that is living. That for me, in my own way of experiencing this life, that is being alive!

Listening you own heart and your soul, instead of listening to all the noise around you.

Keeping that strong knowing in your heart that all you have to do is nurture this inner connection.

So while I sit, looking at the burning bodies in the cremation ground, becoming ash. I tell myself: I will live and walk this path my own way. I will make choices that make me feel truly alive even if they absolutely sound insane to others, I will choose from my heart.  Then I will let go and let God guide me and show me the way.

With pure trust in that wisdom, the wisdom within, the wisdom of the universe.

Now I invite you to contemplate about your own life. To watch the end … To remember the gift of now. To cherish what is really important and to not waist any minute of your life living in fear because then you are already dead.

And because life is such an amazing adventure I will be taking some of my students/clients to Nepal so stay tuned or get in touch for more information.

Thanks for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

Facing Your Limitations – Self-Harming Part 1

“We are only as good as our worst, and only as perfect as our imperfections” _ Emina Gaspar Vrana.

So I ask myself what does it mean to be human?

And the answer I get is :facing your limitations, looking deep within yourself.

When I was a little girl I never knew I had such dark side inside of myself.  Or maybe back then I didn’t yet had it, and this darkness grew bigger as a way to protect myself from all the pain and trauma I went through? Or maybe this is just an excuse for something that is already part of me, part of my karma part of my human life.

Today I wanted to talk about Self-Harming.

This crazy self-aggression, this anger that comes from deep down within. This madness that wants to attack others and yourself.

What is this?

Where does it come from? How is it even possible that this is inside of me, when all I want is to be good, is to show all my love, all my light, all my compassion, all my willingness to connect with others in the most beautiful way.

Where does this darkness comes from?

Why is it there? – I ask God.

What good is it for?

How can I begin to understand it?

Today after 10 years of being “clean” I face myself again. I face my biggest limitation, my biggest fear, the fear of not being in control of my darkness.

Self-harming is a theme not many people talk about, is such an ugly thing, everyone just wants to hide and brush it off. Especially the ones who suffer from it. Just like domestic violence and physical aggression. Yet some very beautiful souls suffer from such ailment.

I never knew how many of my beautiful friends had gone through such issue until recently. But I’m not talking about any of them , I’m here to talk about myself.

About my ugliness, about my flaws about my mistakes.

To tear down my ego into a millions pieces.

I’m no longer afraid to hide  it from anyone , to show what is inside myself.

It’s time to put down all masks

Yes I have this side, when I’m lost it can get really bad, I can end up hurting myself physically so the pain my heart is feeling, the noise in my head , the confusion, can finally stop.

It’s such a chaos to let this side of me out, because deep down all I really want is to be held, to be heard, to be loved, to be accepted. and instead I start to self-sabotage and to lose myself.

The funny thing is  after all this self-work, after helping so many people to find their light, after being a so called “healer” , a “teacher” , I too have to face my limitations.

But this time there is  no space to hide, not even from the ones I love the most.

Total and true transparency! Yes, this is part of me.

Can I still love myself knowing this part of me is still alive inside of me?

Yes, I can.

Can I accept after all this self-work I still face moments where I don’t know what to do? Where I need help, where I need to confront all my beliefs? All my faith?

I simply have to surrender.

Surrender to God, and understand I’m still so small. That I’m still learning.

Even though I’m doing my best in life I have to accept as much as I might try to hide from everyone this issue is there.  I have to be strong for myself to stand there for me and to love myself through it.

To also understand that I’m worthy of love, that there are people who will stand by my side no matter what, that there are  people who will not run way from my darkness. They will see through it. They will have compassion and strength to hold my hand through it, and for that I’m forever grateful, because in this life there will be beautiful souls that will stand in the darkness with you until you can find your way back into light.

But the lesson here is to really surrender to give it all to God, to see I don’t want to hold on to this part of myself. To pray so vehemently to God and to bend on my knees and bowl my head asking for forgiveness, asking God to take this anger, take this pain, take this darkness away from me. To understand I don’t know what to do with it, that I don’t want to hold on to it. That I have to be so humble and so dedicated to my self-acceptance, that I still have so much to know, so much to give up.

So please God take it, take my heart, guide me through your grace I surrender to you. I am yours take my darkness and please let me free from it, because I’m so tired of hurting myself and hurting the ones I love.

Be brave

So if you suffer from this problem.  I here confide to you.

You can do this! Surrender, let go. You are not alone. Loads of people struggle with their darkness, be brave to see through it. Be brave to understand you are worthy of love, worthy of acceptance, and that there are people strong enough to stay by your side. To love you no matter what.

As humans our greatest gift is love, compassion and humility. To stand together to give each other strength to find our way.

Be courageous, all the answers are within yourself. All the love is within yourself. All the light is also there.

Be wise enough to see this is just a movie. That deep down, you are consciousness expressing itself and all this make believe theatre and drama of life isn’t even real.

Your true nature is Love, and you can always find your way back to yourself.

Remember the truth.

 

Thanks for reading.

If you have questions and comments feel free to ask. I haven’t figured it out how to deal with this myself , but together we are stronger. So ask away and I will do my best to share all I have learned about it.

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

What Keeps The Bond Between Lovers?

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ― Jalaluddin RumiThe Illuminated Rumi

I often wonder what keeps people together.

What is the damn bond … the magical invisible string that ties one to another?

I also used to think doing things in the same way was the issue keeping me from actually understanding more about love and emotional satisfaction.

But wait, since I have changed everything, even myself, I have done everything different … and tried and tested with all sorts of different situations.

Still I’m yet to experience, in a flash, what I know to be true love in my heart.

But those are even deeper topics for discussion.

Right now I’m just contemplating this question:

So what keeps the bond?

Is it something that can be controlled or is it totally random? Or even worse .. is it meant to be with the one person that is meant for you?

That’s rather unfair to everyone else … if you think there is only this one person who is a match to you …. Amongst 7 billion others …

You are then bound to find each other, and vague in search of this almost impossible quest … But isn’t this the biggest lie?

First of all let’s take a look at love .. and what love is .. I’m talking about true unconditional love; not falling in love with the things about the person .. but falling in love with the energy behind that identity… If so… Isn’t that energy within everyone?

Because if we are one, we are all the same energy being played over and over by different theatrical characters. But when you strip away identity, what is left is the immutable .. What is left is raw, never changing, wholesome energy. Its source. The universe itself.

So… If we are falling in love, the least important thing is the person, the personality … I was happy to hear from Esther Hicks in one of her talks “ The person is irrelevant when you are in love”. Maybe it’s because when love comes it takes you so abruptly and strongly that you better have someone to become the object of your loving, or for you to use it as an excuse to connect to the energy.

I have done that before … a few times now .. Loved so deeply and used the identity of certain people to increase my connection to source, to go right up all the way to heaven and bathe in the love for everything, for everyone ….

Aw, that feeling of aliveness never compares to anything. It is being in love with God personified in one identity where you can focus upon … and the devotion that comes with it … Indescribable .. devotion not to the person ..but to the energy… Burning anything inside your heart, making it so pure you become a child again in awe with every moment .. every minute.

However, back to my question… In the realm of physical, and togetherness; in the realm of flesh and bone … I’m yet to share this unstoppable force with someone that can surrender to it.

Or even to make love with one physical body and remain together .. bound by that string…

I’m not talking about sex here. Those are very different things. I’m talking about energy … about getting absolutely lost in each other and not even knowing where one begins and the other ends.. I’m talking about true connection, true love … And I’m yet concerned that maybe what I believe to be true might be just a myth of my own imagination. That this kind of connection is not possible, that humanity might not yet be ready for it.

Or maybe I am just so damned blessed and cursed, all at once for knowing this kind of thing exists, but this might be a secret to mankind; and if there are a few out there that might begin to grasp what I am really talking about … It would be nice to know they do exist.

Sacred sex, where love is the note guiding each one into the truth of each other… This is no joke, it is a ceremonial thing.  That’s how man and woman should connect, falling in love with God inside each other’s eyes …. Falling in love with life itself, contained in each other’s body. A touch so soft that could melt away any pain, any fear..

And yet where is the glue? … That brings those 2 people together to be fearless to experience the only thing worth living for?

Thanks for reading,

Sabrina Santos

Flaming heart, the fire of life is burning.

“Isn’t it time  to turn your heart into a temple of fire?”_ Rumi

Tic tock, I look at the clock and guess what! I’m still alive. This has been my current trend of thought since watching the Sadhguru’s video explaining that death will come very naturally to everyone on this planet. Funny observation as too many of us humans spend their lives practicing being dead, stiff like corpses … lacking gratitude and awareness for the gift of being alive.

So what have you been doing? Are you cultivating this aliveness within yourself? Or are you choosing to march around closing your eyes to life.

I for one am having an overload of delightfulness, extreme curiosity for all the colors of life and everything it keeps bringing me. It is sometimes a challenge to tame my thirst for savouring everything and everyone all at once. I am afraid I might swallow the world and just explode into particles of desire. Or maybe, I’ll turn again into Kali , running around cutting demons’ heads off.  In the hopes Shiva might come at my aid to control all this madness, all this energy.  I’m running on kundalini , prana , life force and so is everyone on the planet – except I’m very aware of it, of life playing through my bones.

My heart is burning, it’s on fire, looking for more than it has ever had. Anything or anyone that does not share the likes of this intensity is rapidly torn apart from it. The fire is too great, I can barely control my focus. Everything is wanted, needed invited…
I want it all and I want it now, chaos, chaos, chaos …. Delightful madness of chaos and sincere abrupt explosions of emotions.

The dancing of life has become rather fast… The drumming is so loud my body follows it without questioning. My mind can barely keep up with the strength of my thirst. Poor mind, trying to help .. but nothing is to be done when the fire has taken over…

What to do? If not observing this circus… Looking for moments of divine clarity and jumping into them. Following the impulses of life as they command my temple of Self. Aware of the dance, but way too busy dancing to pretend I can control my moves.

Run through me fire of consciousness, take me with you, I’m tired of fighting the rhythm…

Because I know this is momentary. Because I know just as this fire burns strong …I know soon, there will be only stillness.

In the center of the tornado… there, I will stand still in my own Self-awareness. The weather is part of me, but not all of who I am.

So we dance in the fire. For now.

Flaming heart of aliveness, I salute you with all my love.

“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames” _ Rumi

Thank you for Reading.

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

The Twin Flame Black Hole

“We humans are made up of stardust. Our eyes reflect starlight. And when we crack it escapes and shines through.”
Vanshika Dhyani

For those who have had the infinite pleasure to meet their twin flame or twin soul , whichever the term it might be. For those who had to brave into the waters of unconditional love and learn about the non-time-space ways you are connected to another being; for those who truly experienced seeing their other half in another body; or even if you remember different lifetimes with your twin and have had the pleasure of re-encountering them in this lifetime as an incarnated being.

I have something to say to you.

Well, dear one, you were in for a ride huh! Did you know it was possible to love like this and to lose yourself into another being?  Did you know how hard it was to be apart from this other person whom you know deep down to the core?

Well, it’s no secret many are experiencing this phenomena and many are having to go through the stages of a twin flame relationship, including the most annoying one “the runner/chaser”, and the most agonizing one the “separation”. It’s rare to find Twins that managed to master their mission on Earth and stayed together in harmony, or managed to reunite after both realized who they were for each other.

In most cases there is an imbalance and one twin the “most spiritually evolved” one will be more aware of their mission and their connection, while the “less spiritually evolved” will run away and bla bla bla … (all that spiritual presumption of one person being further, or more realized then the other, which again diverts away from the actual energy of Love)

What does this sound like to you now ? What stage of your twin relationship are you at?

Well if you ask me here goes my own experience and perspective on this whole thing..

The Twin Flame experience has one main objective. To bring you back into Love, love with yourself , to love yourself unconditionally and this other person too. To accept yourself fully and completely  , to really see beyond this world and this body. To acknowledge who you are and what you are made of, to transcend separation, to understand we are ONE, and ultimately to be able to see God in everything.

So once you are in this place where you finally know Love you can  love freely, at least you can say you know what that means. Because you can love your twin with no conditions, you can now love yourself in the same way. You can then start taking the same approach into all areas of your life with new eyes, awakened eyes, eyes full of awareness.

And the most amazing thing is once you know who you really are, how complete and full and wonderful you truly are and that your happiness does not depend on anyone else, that nothing external can complete you, once you learn you are the creator and responsible for all your experiences, well, my friend, then you know that even though your twin is the exact same vibration and has the same soul signature as you, even then, you can see beyond that story.

If you survive the separation period and you learn all the lessons it had to  teach you, that you are your own flame, that no one in the world will be able to give you this love that is already within you. Love is meant to be emanated from you to the world.

So why do I call this the twin Flame black hole ?

Well around a year ago a healer friend of mine referred to the twin flame experience as a black hole.. I had no idea why he was saying that. In fact, I even though it was a little insensitive, however, that person was a kind wise being and so I remembered those words…

The Twin flame Black Hole

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For sure it will suck you in with full power, because the story of finding and meeting your one true love is  way too juicy.  It will change all your thoughts about yourself and love and you will disappear into nothingness . After entering this black hole you will eventually emerge as a whole new person, a new thing… You won’t recognize who you are anymore and it won’t even matter.

Because you know you are Love .

The most amazing thing is that’s being or not being with your twin won’t hurt you anymore because you are already complete. You will be able to continue loving your twin dearly and unconditionally , but you won’t believe in that story of neediness , or the fact there is only one true love in the whole universe that is yours, and that if you don’t find that person you won’t be happy. That’s just impossible.

You will be able to love anyone you wish too. Because you will have learnt, after emerging from the black whole, beyond a certain point we are all the same energy.  You will trust your heart and be able to open it to the lightness of being free to love anyone you wish to love.

And most importantly you will listen to the truth in love, a love that is free to be with no judgment, light and warming like the sunshine on a winter day.  A love with no fear, not even when it makes fear arise to be looked at.  No fear to feel fear, it’s the gift true love gives you.

And if it does not serve you,  you will be able to let go of it, just as you picked it up. Being able to continue to hold infinite amounts of love for any person you truly love – one or one hundred, love is infinite.

The funny thing is, now that you know who you are it is very enjoyable because there are no ways you can fool yourself, because you know anything making you uncomfortable, tense, is not in the other person, but is within yourself. So you can go through your patterns and let go of them, you might not even have the need to engage with them, you know how blessed you are for being able to share any of this experience with another  being.

And of course you will know there is no need to be rejected because when you fully love and accept yourself, any type of rejection can only be done to oneself, not to other. Because when you emerge a new after the black hole nothing will have a hold on you; and you will be able to find love in anyone and anything.

The black hole is absolutely beautiful and equally terrifying, as for those who entered there is no return.

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“Black holes are the seductive dragons of the universe, outwardly quiescent yet violent at the heart, uncanny, hostile, primeval, emitting a negative radiance that draws all toward them, gobbling up all who come too close. Once having entered the tumultuous orbit of a black hole, nothing can break away from its passionate but fatal embrace. Though cons of teasing play may be granted the doomed, ultimately play turns to prey and all are sucked haplessly―brilliantly aglow, true, but oh so briefly so―into the fire-breathing maw of oblivion. Black holes, which have no memory, are said to contain the earliest memories of the universe, and the most recent, too, while at the same time obliterating all memory by obliterating all its embodiments. Such paradoxes characterize these strange galactic monsters, for whom creation is destruction, death life, chaos order. And darkness illumination: for, as dragons are also called worms, so black hole are known as wormholes, offering a mystical and intimate pathway to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, thus bring light as they consume it.”
Robert Coover, A Child Again

Be brave, and dive into the mystery of YourSelf so you can finally learn how to truly love while being in this body.

Thank you for reading,

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

Can You Truly Love?

A friend once brought up a question, an observation, about the fact  that only a full self-realized being could truly love. That normal people are often not capable of truly loving. This observation stayed with me for a while. I had to go deep within myself to fully understand my own perspective about this.

And to be happy to fully disagree.

See, love is the very thing that permeates the all. Therefore, by definition we are that. We are this energy, and this divine essence is what brings us into being, so every single one of us, deep down, in our essence, knows what love truly is.

We might be here in this body afraid of finding out who we truly are because that threatens our independence, we are afraid of our own light. However, love is present in every choice we make, even the ones that appear to be led by negative frequencies such as fear.

If we dig deep in every action we will see love is the motive, because one might be coming from the illusion of not having love, not feeling the flow of love, or because one is open, willing to share this energy with the world in every single aspect of their lives.


The point is, every day there are non-realized beings acting from that place. Because miracles are everywhere, that’s a fact. In the way you smile, in a deep breath you take, in a chance you take to change your life, in a simple act of kindness, in the love of a parent, in a caring friend, anything that resonates with that frequency is that frequency even when we don’t realize the power of it, even when we fail to see it daily… We are all acting in sync with God, aware or not, we are part of the making. And here we are playing a part in the illusion. It is very hard to see from one single perspective that true love is reflected in every single particle of life.


Perhaps a fully realized being would be able to see that everywhere. But perhaps a fully realized being would also know how little gestures, little miracles, powered by true crystalline love are present in every day of our lives, is the very fuel that keeps this reality into motion.

I might be totally out of my head but I’m pretty sure that when God looks at us all it sees is love. Even when we are in anger, in pain or fear. Why do we insist in making such distinction between ourselves when are all the same force?  Why do we chase so much to be something we already are?  Just so we can be once again one with love, one with God. But if there is no such separation, just the perception of it, we can begin to have the awareness about our truth and be able to observe true love in every single being.

This is what I choose to believe in. This is what I choose as my truth.

To be able to see that through any suffering, to be able to see love in all circumstances, to believe in the power of love and to surrender to it daily.

Thanks for reading.

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos

In the Condemning Of Ego and Mind Be Love.

Here is a thought led by heart.

Nature is perfection. God, as the great creator of all things has created the human experience. We belong to many worlds at once and in this experience we can discover and remember who we are in our totality. By the act of finding Truth in the Love that moves all things in nature and in the different worlds we are linked to.

Mind, ego, personality are things that enable this experience. They are precious gifts given by the Great Creator, just so we can have the joy of finding our Truth in the Love that we are. Instead of negating any part of our totality, inviting one to shower any aspects of separation with love might lead you to see how beautiful your mind, given to you by God, is. Because it allows you to create the dream you are living right now and to experience this life in the way it is. Your ego too has an important service to you, without it you would be still merged into the cosmic soup, but when you shower the ego with the pure love of light, given to you by God to find out how perfect you are, the ego loses its negative aspects and becomes another important and special note in the perfect symphony of creation that is you.

It’s your personality that carries the story of you, and the traits you will find within yourself so you can discover the joy of being way more than your identity. Then you can start remembering your other identities. The collective of identities you have been in the past lives you lived that make part of your cosmic story. Then you can find out the collective of souls you make part of beyond those identities.. You can discover different aspects of yourself.. in different dimensions, in different worlds, you can become more of your own totality and discover more of your truth.

You may also go beyond all that and discover your Nothingness and your Real Truth.

So from that place although thoughts, feelings, forms, time, space or identity might not exist..

From that place, you will see the perfection of the All of Creation.

There will be no need to fight the ego or condemn the mind.

So why not practice that Now?

Be the love you are in all aspects of your life if you are going to spend time debating about those things or putting your energy into a spiritual path.

Practice the act of being Truth, and simply Be Love.

No more rejection, no more. Because all is perfect. Because all is well.

Be Aware of who You Truly Are.

Thanks for Reading,

Love and Light.

Sabrina Santos

Did You Know Thoughts and Consciousness Can Be Measured?

Laboratory scientist Dean Radin describes an experiment testing the relationship between mind and matter. In this experiment, random number generators are used to test whether collective human attention corresponds to a change in the physical environment.

Watch this amazing video and learn how thought affects matter and how it can be quantified as means of consciousness being analysed in data collection experiments.

Read more at  http://consciousness-app.com/

Thanks for watching.

Love and Light,

Sabrina Santos